


Pearl River

by QueenMarmot



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Durincest, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-09
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 10:51:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/836097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenMarmot/pseuds/QueenMarmot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is heavily influenced by Vera_DragonMuse's Party Tricks, plus some of my own Marmot magic. Set in a modern AU, Kili and Fili were separated and adopted into different families when they were very young. They end up meeting at University. Lots of angst, with a smattering of smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Infidelity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vera_DragonMuse/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Party Tricks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/641629) by [Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vera_DragonMuse/pseuds/Vera). 
  * Inspired by [Party Tricks](https://archiveofourown.org/works/641629) by [Vera (Vera_DragonMuse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vera_DragonMuse/pseuds/Vera). 



  
  


“So, are you coming to the party or not?”  


The question dragged Kili’s thoughts back to the present, his head snapping around at the sudden intrusion of Nori’s voice.  


“Uh... yeah, okay” he replied, before his brain caught up with his mouth. He instantly regretted it, but felt foolish taking it back.  


Nori grinned widely.  


“Just keep your eyes on the road, will you?” snapped Kili, a little more sharply than he had intended.  


The older man rolled his eyes, before suddenly closing them and pushing his foot against the accelerator.  


“What the fuck are you doing?” screamed Kili, “are you trying to kill me?”  


“Keep your panties on!” laughed Nori, eyes opening. “Shit – you really need to lighten up, kid.”  


Kili scowled. He liked Nori. For a mature student, Nori wasn’t very mature, but closing your eyes when driving was just plain stupid.  


“Give him a break, bro” sighed Ori from the back seat.  


Ori was still coming to terms with the fact that Nori had for some unknown reason decided to enrol in the same university that he had, and was once again the centre of attention. Not that Ori minded too much, but with Kili it was different. Ori had been delighted when the handsome dark-haired Kili had easily agreed to be his housemate. But when Nori had moved in as well, and had gotten on so well with Kili, it just riled Ori.  


The rest of the car journey passed without incident, and they shortly pulled into the drive of the large house they shared with Kili’s friend, Dwalin, which was conveniently located opposite the entrance to the University of Ered Luin.  


A quick inspection of the house revealed that Dwalin was not in. “Probably at the gym” suggested Kili. And then the three of them headed over to the student bar “to get warmed up” as Nori put it.  


The bar was only half full this early in the evening, and the three of them found themselves a large corner to sit in.  


“What’s the party for again?” asked Kili, sipping on a pint of cider.  


“It’s being run by the social committee of the faculty of chemistry, in our own private common room, with a bar” said Nori, grandly. “It’s like a welcome party for all the new students. And you know how us chem students like to party!”  


Ori rolled his eyes. Nori was majoring in psychology and chemistry, and was forever boasting of the wild parties he’d been to with his chemistry buddies. Kili and Ori were always highly skeptical, so this time, he had insisted they come along too. Ori wasn’t exactly sure just how much he’d have to drink to even contemplate skinny dipping, but then, life with Nori was never boring.  


Kili took another sip of his drink. He was tired and had an assignment due. The thought of a night of drinking and partying was starting to grate, and he was about to make his excuses when suddenly Nori stood up and waved his arms frantically.  


“Over here, Fili!” shouted Nori, before turning back to his housemates. “You two will love this guy – he’s amazing.”  


Kili’s gaze followed Nori’s and locked on to the most stunningly beautiful man he had ever seen. He was slightly shorter than Kili, with wide shoulders and strong arms, deliciously accentuated by the tight, faded orange t-shirt he wore. He had bright blue eyes and long blond hair; dreadlocks pulled up into a pony tail, and a goatee and mustache with silver aiglets, and as he drew closer, his mouth cracked into a gorgeous smile, highlighted by a single silver ring in his bottom lip.  


“Hey, Nori – great to see you, mate! Are you coming to the party? It’s going to be epic!”  


Nori greeted his friend with a hand shake that turned into a bear-hug. “Sure am, and I’m bringing my little bro’ Ori and our housemate along for the ride. Fili, this is Ori and Kili – Ori and Kili, this is Fili.”  


Fili flashed a smile and then pulled up a stool and sat down. “Ah... excuse me just a minute” he said raising a finger as his other hand produced a vibrating phone from the pocket of his cargo pants. “What do you want?” he hissed into the phone. “No, we’ve been through this, I’m on the social committee, I fucking organised the party, there is no way I’m not going. Give me a break will you, Billy? Ok, fine, same to you.”  


He shoved the phone back into his pocket with a frown. “I need a drink” he said firmly.  


“Everything ok?” asked Kili.  


“It’s nothing... just boyfriend trouble.”  


Kili felt his heart jump. “Oh, so you’re...”  


“I’m gay, yes.” Fili fixed Kili with his eyes, his shoulders tensing. “Is that a problem to you?”  


“No-no, I mean... not at all, um... I just thought that you... you... were not... um...” spluttered Kili.  


“It’s ok, Fili” laughed Nori, both “Kili and my little bro’ here bat for the same team as you do.”  


Fili visibly relaxed. “Oh, well... yeah, ok.”  


“So, what are you drinking?” asked Kili, trying to suppress the tremor in his voice.  


“Snakebite” replied Fili. “Thanks, mate.”  


“Ori, Nori, same again?” continued Kili, rising from the table. The brothers nodded. Kili headed over to the bar, and when his leg brushed up against Fili’s thigh as he slipped by, it was far from accidental.  


“Hey, Kili, wait up!” Fili suddenly called out. “I’ll give you a hand.”  


Kili smiled as Fili drew level with him. “Thanks” he said. “So you’re a chem student then?”  


Fili nodded “Yeah, materials science. This is my last year at Uni. You?”  


“I’m studying...”  


A vibrating sound from Fili’s pocket interrupted Kili, just as they reached the bar. The blond apologised, pulling out his phone. He frowned and then pressed a button before shoving it back.  


“More boyfriend trouble?” asked Kili.  


“Something like that. Never mind, let’s get the bevies in.”  


They ordered the round of drinks and were heading back to Nori and Ori in the corner, when Fili stopped and cursed. A short man with a mop of tawny curls was making a bee line for them. As the man got closer, Kili recognised him as Bilbo Baggins, a fellow student in one of his seminar groups.  


“I thought I’d find you here!” spoke Bilbo, accusingly. “Why didn’t you answer my call?”  


“Because I don’t want to argue with you Billy” sighed Fili. “I’m going to the party, and that’s final. I don’t see why you can’t come as well.”  


Bilbo snorted. “And watch you and your friends get blind drunk and throw yourselves into the outdoor swimming pool? No thanks, I’d rather stay at home with a good book and a bottle of fine wine.”  


Bilbo looked past Fili, noticing Kili. “Oh, hello Kili. You’re not going to this party are you?”  


“Uh, yes, actually I am” answered Kili. “With Ori and his brother.”  


“You two know each other?”asked Fili, surprised.  


“Yes,” replied Bilbo. “Kili and Ori are on my course actually.” A thought appeared to cross Bilbo’s mind, and then he suddenly beamed at Kili. “If you’re going, you can keep an eye on Fili for me. I trust you to keep him safe.”  


“What?” blustered Kili and Fili together.  


“I don’t need looking after, Billy” protested Fili.  


“I know what you’re like, Fili, need I remind you that last time you went on a big night out with your chem buddies you ended up in the emergency room with two broken ribs.”  


Fili looked sheepishly at the floor. “That was an accident” he mumbled.  


“And Kili here can make sure you don’t have any accidents tonight, can’t you Kili?”  


“Um, well, I don’t really feel comfortable...”  


“You’ll be fine!” reassured Bilbo, patting Kili on the arm. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Fili” and with that he was gone.  


“You don’t have to baby-sit me” said Fili gruffly.  


“I have no intention of doing so” replied Kili. No, his treacherous mind was coming up with all sorts of things he wanted to do to Fili, and baby-sitting was definitely not one of them.  


They reached the table and set the drinks down.  


“Everything ok?” asked Nori.  


“Everything’s fine” said Fili. “Now get those drinks down you, we’ve got a party to go to!”

***  


They’d been at the party for a couple of hours, and Kili was drunkenly trying to convince Ori to dance.  


“C’mon, Ori, you need to let your hair down!”  


“You sound like Nori” grumbled Ori. “I’m perfectly happy to watch, thank you.”  


Ori winced inside, there was nothing he’d rather do than bump and grind with Kili, he just didn’t want to do it on the dance floor with everyone watching. He was already painfully embarrassed at his half-hard cock pushing at the fabric of his jeans – the result of watching Kili do a rather enthusiastic shimmy to ‘It’s raining men.’  


“Suit yourself!” pouted Kili, flouncing away. He was about to return to the dance floor, when he changed his mind and headed towards the bar instead.  


As he tried to push his way through the throng of sweaty bodies, he noticed Fili at the bar.  


“Hey, Fili! Can you get me a beer?”  


The blond turned, catching Kili’s eyes. He grinned and nodded. A minute later, he handed Kili a bottle of Budweiser. “I didn’t know exactly what you wanted, hope this is ok.”  


“It’s perfect!” shouted Kili, competing with the music blaring out.  


A girl with bright red hair and several facial piercings suddenly came running up to Fili, squealing “It’s pool time, Fee!”  


“C’mon mate” laughed Fili, grabbing Kili’s hand.  


“Where are we going?” asked Kili, shuddering at the contact.  


“Skinny dipping!”  


Kili let himself get dragged along, across the dance floor and out through one of the fire exits. It was dark outside, but a full moon was shining in the cloudless sky, illuminating a small out-door swimming pool.  


“Wow – you guys really do have a pool” exclaimed Kili, impressed. He could see Nori already stripping off on the far side of the pool, a gaggle of pretty girls around him. He ripped off his boxers with a typically Nori flourish, then jumped into the water.  


Kili turned to Fili, and was greeted with the sight of the blond, shirtless and shoving his trousers down. Kili felt his face go hot. Fili’s chest was hard and toned, with a thick fuzz of blond hair disappearing in a line into a tight pair of Calvin Klein’s.  


Kili swallowed hard.  


Then Fili pulled his underpants off and took a running jump before dive-bombing into the pool.  


Kili stood frozen to the spot. For a few seconds he’d managed to catch a glimpse of Fili’s, admittedly flaccid, cock and it had sent a jolt of desire into his belly.  


“Are you coming in or what?” yelled Fili from the water.  


Kili hesitated a moment, then something snapped in him, and he pulled off his t-shirt and trousers. He couldn’t quite summon the courage to get completely naked, and he hopped into the water in his boxers.  


The water was cold, although not as cold as Kili had been expecting. Fili swam alongside him, sending a splash of water his way.  


“Chicken” goaded the blond.  


“What d’you mean?”  


“I saw you, still got your panties on”  


Kili blushed. “Yeah, well, I don’t do this sort of thing that often.”  


Fili laughed then dunked Kili under the water.  


“Hey!” spluttered the brunette, coughing up water as he came up to the surface, but Fili was already half-way across the pool.  


Nori and his harem floated past. “Careful there, kid” said the older man “I wouldn’t want to see you get hurt.”  


Kili frowned. “I don’t know what you mean” he hissed.  


Nori simply raised his eyebrows. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  


Kili stuck his tongue out. Then felt rather childish. He looked up and saw Ori standing at the edge of the pool, eyes wide, clasping and unclasping his hands.  


“Hey, Ori!” he called.  


“Be careful!” Ori called back. “You’ve been drinking, Kili, you shouldn’t really be swimming, you know.”  


Kili grinned at his housemate. Ori was always the responsible one, despite being the youngest. “It’s ok, I’m alri... “  


Kili never finished the sentence, as Fili had snuck up behind him, dipped below the water, and grabbed Kili’s boxers, pulling them down.  


“Look what I’ve got!” Fili yelled, triumphantly waving Kili’s boxers in the air.  


A cheer went up as Fili flung the wet shorts at Ori, making him turn a particularly deep shade of pink.  


“You bastard!” shouted Kili at Fili. “You’ll pay for that!”  


“I’d like to see you try!”  


Fili swam away, laughing, his strong shoulders cutting through the water easily. Kili felt his stomach clench; he was certain he’d seen a glint in Fili’s eye.  


Several thoughts rushed through Kili’s head at once. He thought of Bilbo – not exactly his friend, but someone he at least knew – and the trust Bilbo had put in him, he thought about the frown on Fili’s face when Bilbo had called, and he thought about the fact that he hadn’t got laid for nearly five months. He made up his mind, and swam after Fili.  


“That was low, taking my boxers” he said coming alongside the blond.  


Fili looked at him with a smirk. “I could put them back on you, if you want, but I think your boyfriend might get jealous.”  


“My boyfriend?” asked Kili, puzzled.  


Fili nodded in the direction of Ori, who was gingerly trying to wring out Kili’s wet shorts.  


“Ori’s not my boyfriend” stated Kili firmly. “He’s just my housemate. I’m single.”  


“But I’m not...” sighed Fili, and Kili was sure he could detect more than a little disappointment in Fili’s voice.  


Kili bit his lip. “I don’t care, if you don’t.”  


Fili looked at Kili for a moment. He ran his tongue over his lower lip, and his pupils flared. “Not here” he said quietly, “too many people that know me.”  


Kili nodded. “Come back to mine tonight.” He grinned wolfishly, “I’ve got a double-bed.”  


Fili smiled, then inclined his head. “Until later, then.” Then he swam off.  


***  
It was one o’clock in the morning, and although the party was still going strong, Kili was more than ready to go home. Nori was still very much enjoying himself, and clearly had several hours left in him. Ori on the other hand, sighed happily, nodding in agreement when Kili suggested they headed back to their house. Ori’s face fell slightly when Fili wordlessly joined them as they slipped out of the door.

  
“What happened to your boxers?” asked Fili as they crossed over the courtyard to the main part of the campus.  


“I’m not sure” replied Kili. “I’m currently going commando.”  


Ori made a little choked sound.  


“Should’ve taken them off before you got in the water” declared Fili with a smirk.  


“Well, now I have one less piece of clothing for you to take off.”  


Ori coughed loudly.  


“I’d be grateful if you don’t mention Fili coming home with us to anyone” said Kili carefully.  


Ori stopped. Then he nodded miserably. “If that’s what you want, Kili.”  


Kili smiled, then flung an arm around Ori’s shoulder. “Thanks, Ori, you’re the best!”  


They made it back to their house in under 10 minutes. When they got in, Dwalin was back, playing computer games in the front room.  


“I think I’ll just go straight to bed” huffed Ori, pushing open the door to his room on the ground floor. “Have fun” he said ruefully.  


“Follow me” whispered Kili to Fili, taking the blond’s hand and pulling him up the stairs.  


Kili pushed the door to his room open, then tumbled inside as Fili barreled in to him, pushing him on to the bed. The curtains were still open and moonlight shone down on them.  


Fili leaned down and pressed his lips to Kili’s, his tongue demanding entrance. Kili opened his mouth willingly, moaning wantonly as Fili licked his way in. After several long moments Fili pulled away, leaving Kili gasping for breath.  


“I’ve been wanting to do that all night!”  


“Happy to oblige” murmured Fili, ducking back down. His beard scraped along the stubble on Kili’s jaw as he caught Kili’s lower lip with his teeth. Kili felt the rub of Fili’s lip ring, cold against the heat of his skin, sending a hard spike of arousal through him; his cock twitching in response.  


Fili gave a low chuckle, his hand sliding down to brush over the rapidly growing bulge in Kili’s jeans. Kili groaned.  


“Here, let me help you with that” said Fili, kissing his way down Kili’s neck, one hand gliding over Kili’s nipples through his t-shirt. Then Fili scooted down the bed and started undoing Kili’s jeans.  


Kili groaned again as his cock sprang free, only to be swallowed instantly by Fili. Kili was seeing stars as Fili sucked him down, expertly flicking his tongue, dragging back Kili’s foreskin.  


“Mmmmmm... taste good” hummed Fili, the vibrations causing Kili’s hips to buck up. Fili pushed Kili back on to the bed, continuing to lick and suck his way around Kili’s cock. When Fili ran his lip piercing over the sensitive tip, Kili almost came there and then.  


Fili released Kili with a wet pop. “Are you ok?” he said.  


“Yes,” panted Kili, “it’s just... been a while since I was with someone, this is... it’s just a little intense.”  


Fili grinned wickedly, wrapping his fingers around the base of Kili’s cock and squeezing hard. “Well, I don’t want you going off just yet, I’ve only just started.”  


Kili threw his head back, lost in the sensations of pleasure as Fili worked him with his lips and tongue, all the while gripping his cock. Several times Fili brought him to the brink, only to pause, denying Kili his release, until Kil was practically sobbing.  


Fili licked a strip along the underside of Kili’s cock, then, letting go with his fingers, he ran his lip ring along Kili’s slit. Without the vice-like grip of Fili’s hand, Kili’s orgasm rushed up, spilling into Fili’s mouth in thick, hot spurts.  


Fili kept on sucking Kili as the hot cum shot down his throat, his mouth milking Kili until there was nothing left.  


“ _Fuck!_ You’re good” groaned Kili.  


“Thank you” grinned Fili.  


“No, thank _you!_ ” Kili pushed himself up on his elbows. “Now, how about I return the favour?”  


Fili seemed to hesitate, then rolled on to his back. “Don’t leave any marks” he said.  


Kili raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. “I think I’d pretty much do whatever you told me to right now.”  


Fili grinned again. “C’mon then, lover boy, let’s see what you’ve got.”  


Kili grinned back, straddling Fili. He generally considered himself something of a blow-job expert, but after Fili’s performance, he was slightly nervous. He ran his hands up and under Fili’s shirt, dragging blunt nails across Fili’s ribs.  


“Careful!” hissed Fili, “no marks, remember?”  


“Sorry” blushed Kili, stilling his hands. Then he pressed his fingertips gently into Fili’s muscles, drawing his hands down through the fuzz of hair, stopping at the waistband of Fili’s cargo pants. He looked up at Fili through his dark lashes.  


Fili’s pupils were blown with lust, the blue almost consumed by black. He chewed on the silver ring in his bottom lip, then nodded.  


Kili undid the buttons on Fili’s cargo pants agonizingly slowly. He gently traced a line over Fili’s cock through his underpants.  


Fili growled. “Don’t tease me.”  


Kili smiled sweetly, then dipped his fingers under the waistband of Fili’s underpants, pulling them down slowly. He puffed a breath over Fili’s naked cock, watching with satisfaction as it bobbed against Fili’s belly.  


The sight of the shining ring against Fili’s swollen lips was too much of a temptation for Kili, and he stretched up, his mouth catching Fili’s, tongue flicking against the ring.  


“I’ve never... kissed a guy... with a piercing before” he ground out between, hot kisses.  


“And do you like it?” asked Fili, his voice going hoarse.  


“I do” hummed Kili. Then he pulled back. “But I think, I will enjoy _this_ ,” he slid a hand down to ghost across Fili’s cock, “a bit more.”  


Fili made the most delicious sounds as Kili went down on him. At one point, Kili could almost swear Fili was actually purring. He tried to make it last as long as possible, but he was soon lost in the taste of Fili on his tongue. When he felt Fili throb in his mouth, and Fili cried out a warning, it was all Kili could do to swallow down the hot white ropes.  


As they lay in the afterglow, the scent of sex still clinging to their sweat-soaked skin, Kili rolled against Fili, planting a lazy kiss.  


Fili returned the kiss, twisting a hand in Kili’s mane of dark hair and pulling him close.  


Kili chuckled.  


“What’s the matter?” asked Fili.  


“Nothing, it’s just...”  


“What?”  


“It’s just that I told myself last time I had a one-night stand, that I’d never do it again. But here I am, with you.”  


Fili stiffened beside him. “You regret this, then?”  


“No! No, not at all” said Kili hurriedly. “It’s just... it would’ve been nice to get to know you a bit more. I mean, I don’t even know your last name.”  


Fili lay back and let out a sigh. “There’s not much to tell. My full name is Phoenix Brian Lombard – you can see why I prefer to be called Fili. I’m 23 years old. I’m adopted...”  


“You’re adopted?” said Kili, suddenly sitting up. “I’m adopted too.”  


Fili sat up and looked into Kili’s eyes. “Bit of a weird coincidence” he said, holding Kili’s gaze.  


“So, Phoenix?”  


“My birth parents were hippies. Brian is my adopted dad’s name.”  


“So that’s another thing we have in common” grinned Kili.  


“Another thing?”  


“Well, we’re both gay, and adopted, and were given stupid names by our birth parents. My real name is Ceallach Broadbeam – although Broadbeam is my adopted surname – I don’t know what my birth surname was. Apparently my parents were total stoners, not fit to bring a kid up, so I got put into foster care. But I was such a wonderful kid, my foster parents adopted me.”  


Fili laughed. “I like you Kili.”  


“I like you too, Fili.”  


Fili frowned. “So, I do actually feel quite bad about doing this but... I think I’d better go home now.”  


Kili’s face fell.  


“Billy might call, and... well... you know how it is.”  


Kili nodded, his jaw tightening as he watched as Fili pulled his clothes back up.  


“I’ll... see you around” said Fili, not quite meeting Kili’s eyes.  


“Yeah” said Kili, “see you around” although the words felt hollow on his tongue. He managed to keep his face calm until Fili left, gently closing the door behind him. Then he rolled over to bury his face in a pillow, trying to muffle the sound of his sobs.

**TBC...**


	2. The Lies We Live

Fili shut the front door of Kili’s house and slumped against the wall. A breath he didn’t even know he was holding puffed out. He barely knew Kili, but there was something about the cocky dark haired man that had got under his skin. Of course this was going to be a one-night stand, but somehow, hearing Kili say it was like a rejection. He fumbled in his pocket looking for a cigarette, cursing when all he found was an empty wrapper. He pushed himself off the wall; there was an all-night gas station about 10 minutes away, and he needed the walk to clear his head.  


***

  


It was almost 4 am by the time Fili sat down on his own bed and switched on his phone. In seconds a bunch of texts from Bilbo flashed onto the screen. He sighed, thumb automatically flicking across the keypad in reply: _Sorry – had my phone off and only just realised. Been home a while – all ok – no ribs broken. Fx._  


Fili sighed reluctantly as he rolled off the bed and on to his feet. He padded across the floor and out on to the hallway to the bath room. Bilbo would be round in the morning; Fili needed a shower.  


As the hot water pounded into his skin, washing away the traces of Kili, Fili felt strangely bereft. He shivered as he stepped out of the cubicle, dripping water onto the floor. He grabbed a towel and wiped the steam-clouded mirror on the wall. Carefully he inspected himself, relieved to find no marks on his skin. Then he picked up his tooth brush – despite smoking a packet of cigarettes, he could still taste Kili on his tongue.  


When he stepped out of the bath room, towel wrapped around his waist he passed a rather annoyed looking housemate in the hallway.  


“You woke me up, and now I need a piss” grumbled Bofur.  


“Sorry, mate” apologised Fili shrugging, “I spewed on myself and had to take a shower” the lie rolling easily off his tongue.  


Bofur made a face “too much information.”  


Fili grinned, then headed back to his room.  


“Oh for fucks sake – the floor’s soaking! Did you piss yourself as well?" Bofur’s voice floated angrily from the bath room.  


Fili ignored Bofur, shutting his door and began searching for his deodourant. A quick spray, and then a clean set of clothes and he could almost convince himself that he had not spent the night with someone else. He ran his hands through his dreadlocks, the image of Kili laid out before him rising unbidden in his mind. He groaned, falling back on to the bed.  


“Fuck!” he swore, one hand slapping at the treacherous bulge starting to form in his shorts. “What the fuck is wrong with you? He’s just a guy! Nothing special.”  


Another lie.  


Fili gritted his teeth and rolled over, hands fisting in the pillows of his bed. Sleep came eventually, with dreams of dark brown eyes and a smile like sunshine after a storm.  


***

  


“Hey, sleepy head, I brought you breakfast.” A warm hand squeezed Fili’s shoulder, and he opened his eyes to find Bilbo’s smiling face inches from his own.  


Fili smiled back. “Can I smell bacon?”  


Bilbo nodded. “Two bacon rolls with extra ketchup, a large black coffee, two sugars, and a maple and pecan Danish. Just the way you like it.”  


“I think I love you.”  


Bilbo gently kissed Fili’s nose. “Well, they do say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”  


Fili pushed himself up, gratefully taking the steaming cup of coffee Bilbo passed to him. The smaller man sat down on the bed and started unpacking the rest of the food from a brown paper bag.  


“Oh, was one of these for you?” Fili asked sheepishly, taking in Bilbo’s frown as he grabbed both bacon rolls.  


“It’s ok, you have it. I’ve already eaten anyway.” Bilbo grinned. “So, did you have fun last night?”  


“Uh... yeah, I did.”  


“Good” replied Bilbo. “But you must remember to text me when you get in. I worry about you. At least Kili got you home safe.”  


Fili froze. “Kili?”  


“Yes, when I couldn’t get an answer from you, I phoned Sarah. She told me you left with Kili and _‘some weird little twat’_ whom I’m guessing was Ori.  


“Oh, yes. They uh... walked me home.”  


“She also told me about the skinny dipping.”  


“Oh, come on, don’t look at me like that.”  


“I just don’t see why you have to be such an exhibitionist.”  


“Billy, when you met me, I was half-naked, drinking flaming Sambuca’s and trying to set fire to my chest hair. It’s not like you didn’t know what I was like.”  


“But you have me now. I had hoped that you might calm down a bit.”  


Fili frowned. “I am what I am, Billy. Take it or leave it.”  


Bilbo reached out and ran a hand across Fili’s shoulder and down his chest. He moistened his lips. “Oh, I most definitely want to take it. And as you appear to have already showered, I think I might just take it right now.”  


“Yeah, I had a shower when I came in. I threw up on myself.”  


Bilbo looked at Fili. “I did not need to know that.”  


Fili smiled weakly. “Sorry.”  


“Not to worry, I’m sure you can make it up to me.”  


“Yes, I will, I promise.”

***

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” shouted Bofur as Fili and Bilbo headed out of the front door.  


“We’re off to see a film!” Fili shouted back. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back in time.”  


“Back in time for what?” asked Bilbo.  


“Weapons training.”  


“What?”  


“Weapons training.”  


“But I thought you did weapons training on a Monday.”  


“We got moved this week, cos the Karate club wanted our slot to do a grading. Bofur says some new kick-ass guy will be there tonight. He normally trains with some top class instructor from another dojo, but the instructor was in a car accident, so he’s coming to train with us tonight.”  


“Fascinating” hummed Bilbo.  


“You could at least pretend to care” huffed Fili.  


“And I suppose that means you’ll be going out again, tonight?”  


“Of course – it’s tradition. I always go out with the guys after weapons training.”  


Bilbo scowled. “At least I have the afternoon with you.”  


“Don’t be late!” shouted Bofur.

***

Fili stretched out his shoulder muscles, breathing deeply. Here in the dojo he hoped to find some respite. All throughout the day, every time he had closed his eyes, images of the night before, of Kili’s face, Kili’s hands, Kili’s skin, flooded into his mind. 

“Fuck!” he swore softly between gritted teeth. He tried to concentrate, to focus on his breath. He breathed in again and closed his eyes. This time, there was nothing but blackness. Breathe in... breathe out. He extended his focus to his body, the rise and fall of his chest. Breathe in... breathe out. Then he extended his focus further, sensing the room around him, and the people within it. His swords were lying a few feet away from the mats, carefully placed on top of a thick cotton bag. He could almost feel them there, even with his eyes closed, like they were an extension of his own arms.  


Suddenly the door to the dojo opened. Fili’s eyes snapped open and he turned around. A tall, thickly muscled man entered the room carrying a large holdall. His dark hair stood up in a Mohawk, and every inch of visible skin was covered in a swirl of tattoos.  


“Dwalin,” said the tall man, bowing, “at your service.”  


“Glad you could make it!” Bofur called out, striding over the mats towards the newcomer. The two men clasped arms.  


“Thank you for inviting me, Bofur.”  


“It’s a pleasure to have you with us.”  


“So what’s the plan for this evening?” asked Dwalin.  


“Uh, well after practice we tend to go out for a beer. This isn’t our regular night, but I think there’s something going on at the student union.”  


“I meant what was the plan for the practice in the dojo tonight?”  


“Oh” said Bofur, face colouring. “Of course, um... yes.”  


“We tend to start with a warm-up, some simple kata, and then, if there’s enough of the right people, we free-style it” said Fili walking over to join Bofur and Dwalin. “I’m Fili by the way.”  


“Have we met?” said Dwalin looking the blond man up and down.  


“Uh... maybe we’ve seen each other around campus?”  


“You’re one of Kili’s friends aren’t you?”  


Fili’s mouth went dry. “I know Kili, yes.”  


“Excellent!” beamed Dwalin and slapping Fili on the back. “Any friend of Kili’s is a friend of mine. One of the best, him, couldn’t meet a nicer guy.”  


“Yes... I suppose he is” replied Fili.  


“He’ll be here in a minute. We train together at the dojo across town. I hope it was ok to bring him with me. I left him fussing over his sword in the changing room. Ah, here he is now! “  


The door opened and in came Kili. He bowed, then stepped on to the mats. He smiled and nodded towards Dwalin, then froze as he saw Fili. For a second their eyes locked, until Fili ripped his glance away, eyes focussing firmly on the floor.  


“Come on, laddie, get yourself in here!” boomed Dwalin.  


Kili smiled weakly and padded over to Dwalin, Bofur and Fili.  


“This here is Bofur, who graciously invited us to train with the guys here tonight. And you already know Fili.”  


Kili bit his lip, eyes flicking nervously over to Fili.  


“I told him we were friends” explained Fili hastily.  


Kili nodded again. “Yes... friends.”  


“Right then, lads!” shouted Bofur “let’s get started!”  


The next hour was spent warming up and running combat drills. Most people had regular partners they worked with, occasionally swapping around to try out new techniques or patterns. Fili watched Kili and Dwalin out of the corner of his eye. Both were incredibly skilled with the sword, their movements like some deadly dance.  


“Ow!” Fili yelped as Bofur scraped his sword across Fili’s knuckles.  


“That’s the third time tonight I’ve hit you, you’re lucky this blade isn’t sharp. What’s the matter? It’s like your head is somewhere else.”  


“Sorry, I guess I’m still a bit tired after the party last night.”  


Bofur grinned. “You’ve got no stamina, you. Come, on, let’s try again.”  


Fili managed to cling on to his concentration for the rest of his practice with Bofur, even getting a hit or two in himself. He was dripping with sweat by the time they paused for a break.  


“Bofur, seeing as you’re the one who invited me, would you like to try some freestyle with me?” Dwalin grinned wolfishly at his host.  


“I would be honoured.”  


Fili let out a sigh, putting his swords away and gratefully dropping to his knees at the side of the mats to watch Bofur and Dwalin. He stiffened when Kili came to kneel beside him.  


“You’re pretty good with those swords. I’ve never seen someone fight with two like that before.”  


“Thanks. You’re pretty good yourself.”  


“So I’m told.”  


Fili bit his lip.  


They sat in silence watching Dwalin and Bofur. The two were well-matched, and it was difficult to rate one above the other, although Dwalin’s extra size meant he had the best of it.  


“So, are you and Dwalin coming out with us tonight after practice?” asked Fili, staring straight ahead at the two men twirling around each other on the mats.  


Kili turned to look at Fili. “Do you want me to?”  


“Yes” said Fili, eyes still facing forward. “I would like that a lot.”  


Kili smiled, and Fili felt his heart actually lurch.  


“Good. I’d like that too.”

***

The showers were a bit of a problem for Fili. Normally he didn’t worry too much, the other guys were all straight, and he had no interest in them, but the thought of Kili there as well had him blushing. But he was covered in sweat and would be smelling rank within hours if he didn’t. In the end he took an inordinately long time putting the mats away and locking his swords in the weapons cupboard, so that everyone was showered and dressed by the time he walked in to the changing rooms.  


“Come on, Fil!” complained Bofur. “Get your arse in there so we can all go for a bevy.”  


“I’ll meet you guys at the bar. Don’t wait for me.”  


Bofur nodded. “Alright gang, let’s go.”  


“Kili and I will just drop our stuff off at home” said Dwalin. “We’ll meet you there as well.”  


“You’re both welcome to put your swords in our weapons cupboard” offered Bofur.  


“Thanks, but I think we’d prefer to keep them at our place.”  


“Ok. Right, well, see you there as well.”  


Fili let out a sigh of relief when the last person walked out of the changing rooms. He stepped into the shower, relishing the feel of the hot water on his skin. He squirted a gloop of shower gel into his hand, inhaling the minty scent as he scrubbed himself clean. He closed his eyes. _Sweat, salt, skin on skin... Kili._  


Fili’s eyes snapped open. “You’re a fucking idiot” he told himself. But he knew there was no way he was not going to the bar.

***

The bar was noisy and full of people getting drunk before heading up to the main student union building, which was serving as a retro club tonight. A lot of the revellers were in fancy dress – flares and flowery shirts, and girls in hot pants or mini dresses. Fili snorted. He’s never been a fan of cheesy music, but he could put up with a lot of things if it meant spending time with Kili.  


Fili found Bofur and the rest of his martial arts club wedged into an alcove on the far side of the bar. He headed over, smiling when he caught sight of Kili.

  
“Here you go!” said the dark haired man, handing Fili a bottle of Budweiser. “Payment for last night.”  


Fili looked horrified. “Payment? What the fuck do you think I am?”  


“I meant for the beer you shouted me last night at the party.”  


Fili blushed. “Oh, yeah... sorry mate. Uh, thanks.”  


“Everything alright?” shouted Dwalin above the noise of the bar.  


“Yeah, we’re good!” shouted Kili in response.  


“Sorry, that was a bit stupid of me...” began Fili.  


“No worries” laughed Kili. “It was actually pretty funny.”  


Fili smiled. “Yeah. I’m worth way more than a bottle of beer.”  


“At least three bottles!” grinned Kili.  


Fili shoved Kili in the chest.  


“Ok, four bottles.”  


“Hey, you two!” Bofur waved to get Fili’s attention. “It’s pretty crowded in here. Drink up so we can go up to the club.”  


Fili nodded, throwing his head back and downing the Budweiser in one.  


“Fuck!” exclaimed Kili. “That’s impressive.”  


“So I’m told” smirked Fili.  


“I’m glad I came out tonight” said Kili.  


“So am I” replied Fili.  


They headed up to the club, slightly annoyed at having to pay full price tickets, as they were not in fancy dress.  


When they got to the main room, the dance floor was busy but not packed.  


“Hey, look! There’s Nori and Ori!” shouted Dwalin. “Oh, fuck, they’re even dressed up, Kili, you gotta see this.”  


Sure enough, in the middle of the dance floor was Nori, dressed like something out of Boogienights, strutting his stuff as a gaggle of girls squealed and clapped around him. Ori was doing his best to look inconspicuous – not an easy task, given he was wearing a skin-tight tan-coloured suit and a giant afro wig.  


Kili burst out laughing. “Oh, man, that’s just precious. I’ve got to get a photo.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, lining up the shot and giggling.  


“Come on, let’s dance!” declared Bofur, and the whole gang headed over to the dance floor.  


“Hey, Ori! Looking good” smirked Dwalin sidling up to the rather awkward looking man.  


Ori looked like he wanted the floor to open and swallow him whole as he saw Kili, Dwalin and the rest of their gang.  


“Oh, great. Now my humiliation is complete.”  


“What’s the matter?” asked Dwalin.  


“The matter is that once again, I’ve let my stupid brother talk me into doing something stupid. And now you lot have come to laugh at me. Nice.”  


“I’m not laughing” said Dwalin. “I think you look good. But you should probably lose the afro. Not really your style.” He grabbed the wig and headed away from the dance floor.  


“Oh...” said Ori frowning as he took in the sight of Fili standing with Kili. “So all that ice cream and episodes of _Friends_ wasn’t actually needed then, Kili?”  


Kili glared at Ori, teeth gritting as he tried to shake his head without Fili noticing.  


“We’ve been training together, at the dojo” explained Fili.  


Ori rolled his eyes. “Is that what you call it, now” he muttered under his breath.  


“No, seriously, we’ve been at sword practice” hissed Kili. “Please don’t say anything, Ori.”  


Ori nodded.  


“That’s better” grinned Dwalin, returning to the dance floor. “I traded the afro for this!” he brought out a peaked leather cap and shoved it on his head. “What do you think, Kili? Is it me?”  


“It’s very you, Dwalin” agreed Kili chuckling. “But it’s not going to stay on for more than 5 seconds with your hair cut.” On cue, the hat slid off and dropped to the floor.  


“Ah, well” sighed Dwalin. “Nevermind.”  


For the next few hours, they danced and drank. Even Ori seemed to cheer up a bit, although he kept being dragged back to the dance floor by Dwalin every 10 minutes or so.  


Fili was feeling warm and merry. The training earlier in the evening had loosened his muscles and joints, and he cut a fine form on the dance floor. He liked having Kili close to him. He breathed in the scent of Kili as they knocked into each other as the dance floor became more and more packed. Eventually it was all they could do to not be squeezed up against each other. Fili pressed a palm to Kili’s back. It was wet with sweat, and Fili felt a jolt of desire flood through him. He was about to suggest something to Kili, when Dwalin suddenly announced that it was too crowded now, and it was time to move the party somewhere else. And of course, somewhere else turned out to be Dwalin’s house.

***

  


Bofur, Fili, Kili, Dwalin and Ori were sat in the front room of the shared house. They could hear Nori and the girl he had brought home in one of the upstairs bed rooms.  


“Ok, let’s get some Fifa action going!” announced Dwalin, switching on his games console.  


“Seriously?” asked Bofur “Video games?”  


“It’s his thing” explained Kili.  


“Ori, you’ll play, won’t you?” asked Dwalin.  


“Okay, okay” agreed Ori, picking up a hand set.  


“I need another drink” declared Fili.  


“I’ll get you one” said Kili, getting up.  


The two of them headed to the kitchen. Kili flicked on the light switch. Nothing happened. “Fuck. The bulb’s gone.” Kili went in to the darkened room, the light from the hallway casting just enough light for him to locate the fridge on the far side of the room. As his fingers brushed against the handle, he felt strong hands on his waist spinning him around.  


“Fee...” Kili’s surprised yelp was cut off by Fili’s warm lips. Kili groaned into the kiss, his arms coming up to circle Fili’s neck pulling the blond in closer.  


“I can’t stop thinking about you” whispered Fili. “Every time I close my eyes, I see you... us... last night. I need more of you.”  


“I need you too” murmured Kili. His hands slid down to Fili’s waist, then shifted, spinning them around so that Fili was pressed up against the door of the fridge. “But this time” he said, his mouth moving over Fili’s neck, “I want you to stay. I want you all to myself tonight.”  


“I can’t” gasped Fili. “Billy...”  


Kili pulled away. His eyes searched Fili’s face. “Do you love him? Do you love Bilbo?”  


“I-I don’t know... maybe?”  


Kili snorted. “That’s a no, then. If you were truly in love with him, you’d know.”  


Fili frowned.  


“Leave him. Leave Bilbo and be with me.”  


“It’s not that simple.”  


“Why not?”  


“I owe him.”  


“You owe him? What, like money?”  


“No. He saved my life. I owe him my life.”  


“How?”  


“When I met him, it was my birthday – his too. His friends had dragged him out to the bar where I was celebrating with my friends. I was being a dick, trying to set fire to my chest hair.”  


Kili raised an eyebrow.  


“Yeah – exactly. Only I managed to set fire to my shorts. I was soaked in alcohol; I went up like a fucking bonfire. And Billy, he was the only one not pissed out of his head. He used his own body to smother the flames. I had to go to hospital, they said I was lucky – it could’ve been much worse. And then, I went to see him, to say thank you, and we just... you know... we just got together.”  


“So the basis of your entire relationship with this guy is because he smothered your burning shorts?”  


“No! It’s more than that. He’s a good guy. He’s good to me.”  


“But you don’t love him.”  


Fili clenched his jaw. “I should go now.”  


Kili sighed with frustration. He stepped back, arms up in defeat. “You can leave any time you like, Fili. No-one is forcing you to be here.”  


Fili closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kili. I can’t do this.”  


“I’m sorry too.”  


“I’ll go and tell Bofur I’m leaving.”  


“You do that.”  


With a heavy heart, Fili went in to the front room. Bofur was sober enough to see the look in Fili’s eyes and agreed it was time to head home, despite Dwalin’s protests  


Neither of them mentioned Kili on the walk home, and Fili thought that Bofur was perhaps a better friend than he had previously given him credit for.

**TBC...**


	3. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another update. Don't get used to it :)

  
Ori watched Fili and Bofur walk up the street before closing the front door. He sighed, then headed to the kitchen. It was dark, so he flicked the light switch.  


“Bulb’s gone.” Kili’s voice floated out of the darkness.  


“I’d better change it, then.” Ori flicked the switch back to off. He felt his way towards a cupboard, fumbling inside until he found a new light bulb. He pulled up a chair, reaching up to unscrew the broken bulb, then popping the new one in.  


“That’s better” declared Ori, switching the light on. Kili was slumped against the kitchen counter. Ori frowned. “We’re going to need more ice cream aren’t we?”  


Kili smiled half-heartedly. “I don’t think ice cream is going to fix this, Ori. But thanks anyway.”  


“Do you want to talk about it?” asked Ori.  


“What’s to talk about? I appear to have a crush on the fucking king of mixed messages.”  


Ori bit his lip. “Maybe it’s for the best. I mean – he’s with someone. “  


Kili snorted. “Not someone he loves. Anyway, I’d best get to bed. I have an essay to finish that’s due Monday morning.” With that he stalked out of the kitchen and up the stairs.  


Ori raised his eyebrows at the thought of Kili getting an early night so he could finish his homework. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed back in to the front room.  


“Here you go, Dwalin” said Ori, passing the big man a bottle.  


“Thanks. Is everything alright?”  


“Kili’s gone to bed. He says he has an essay to finish tomorrow.”  


Dwalin frowned. “What’s the deal with Kili and Fili?”  


“It’s... complicated” sighed Ori miserably.  


They sat in silence for a minute.  


“I know what it’s like, you know” began Dwalin slowly.  


“What what’s like?”  


“To love someone, and to feel your heart break a little more every day, because you know they will only ever look at you as a friend.”  


Ori’s face coloured. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  


“I see the way you look at Kili, even if he doesn’t. I know what that feels like.”  


“I think I’d better go to bed” mumbled Ori.  


“Good night Ori, sweet dreams.”

***

Bilbo awoke with a start. He looked around him; he’d fallen asleep in his armchair, book still lying in his lap, a half-drunk glass of wine on the table beside him.  


He heard a knock on the front door, and he realised that was what had woken him. He looked at the clock on the wall and frowned. Whoever was knocking on his door this late had better have a damn good reason.  


The knocking grew louder, more insistent.  


“I’m coming!” Bilbo pushed himself out of his chair and stomped into the hallway. He undid the latch and opened the door. There, in the darkness stood Fili.  


For a second, Bilbo felt his breath catch. He never got tired of the way Fili could just make his heart melt with a single look. Fili was all Bilbo ever dreamed off, kind, strong, handsome, an absolute lion in the bed room, and with just an edge of danger that Bilbo secretly adored, although he would never admit it to Fili.  


But something was wrong.  


“Fili, what’s the matter? What are you doing here? I thought you were out with Bofur and the gang?”  


“I... I needed to see you.” Fili’s eyes were red-rimmed and un-focussed. “I needed to feel you.” He stepped into the door way, grabbing Bilbo’s shirt and pulling the shorter man towards him.  


Bilbo felt Fili’s mouth against his own; the familiar cold of Fili’s lip ring, the taste of cigarette smoke and alcohol overpowering him as Fili shoved him back into the house. With a flick of his foot, Fili slammed the front door shut, then pushed Bilbo up against the wall of the hall way.  


“I need you... need to be in you” Fili’s whisper almost sounded like a plea.  


Bilbo nodded quickly, gasping as Fili sucked a bruise at his neck. “Of course... always, for you.”  


Fili scooped Bilbo up in his arms taking the few short steps to Bilbo’s room and almost falling inside in his haste.  


“Are you ok?” asked Bilbo, not quite able to shake that feeling of wrongness.  


“I am now.”  


The sex was brief and intense; Fili fell asleep almost instantly. Bilbo lay beside him, staring up at the ceiling. He felt slightly nauseous, but could not think why. Perhaps it was the wine, or maybe it was the fact that he had fallen asleep in his chair. What he wouldn’t allow himself to think was that it was because that when Fili came, he could’ve sworn that Fili had said _“Kili”_ rather than _“Billy.”_

***

  


Kili couldn’t sleep. Not that he was surprised about that, but it was frustrating none the less. He kept thinking about Fili’s words _“I can’t stop thinking about you. Every time I close my eyes, I see you... us... last night. I need more of you.”_  


The trouble was, Kili believed him. There was no lie in those words. So what was stopping Fili? Why would he rather stay with Bilbo than be with Kili? The more Kili thought about it, the more it didn’t make sense. He looked up at the moon in the sky, just visible through a gap in his curtains.  


“I will have him” Kili whispered to the moon. “Whatever it takes, I will make him mine.” But whether or not the moon heard the oath, Kili did not know.

***

The library was surprisingly busy for a Sunday morning. Kili swiped his student card at the turnstiles and headed up to the third floor. He wandered up and down the rows of books trying to find the one he was looking for. This was unfamiliar territory, with books on science and engineering, whereas Kili was more used to the second floor with its tomes on ancient history and classics.  


He turned a corner and stopped, then suddenly burst out laughing.  


Fili looked up at the sound of Kili. “Uh... what ‘s so funny?” he asked.  


“You, here... just... I don’t know. It’s pretty fucked up actually.”  


“Are you stalking me?” Fili’s eyes were wide.  


“Don’t flatter yourself” said Kili dryly. “I need a book for an assignment.”  


“But you’re on the same course as Billy, ancient history and languages?”  


“Yes.”  


“So what the fuck are you doing on this floor?”  


“I’m writing an essay on the importance of metals in ancient civilisations. I’m looking for a book on sword-making techniques.  


“Oh. Uh... that’s weird.”  


“Why?”  


“Well, I'm writing a dissertation on sword-making techniques in the ancient world.”  


Kili grinned. “Then you are just the guy to help me then.”  


“This really is fucked up” said Fili.  


“So, will you help me?” asked Kili. “Please?”  


Fili chewed on his lip ring for a moment. “I don’t know...”  


“I’ll buy you a coffee.”  


Fili sighed, “ok, you can buy me a coffee, and I’ll give you a hand with your essay.”  


“Excellent!” crowed Kili.  


Fili pulled a couple of books off the shelves and handed them to Kili. “Here, these are a good place to start.”  


“Thanks.”  


“And if you’re really nice to me, I’ll let you have a look at some of my notes.”  


Kili raised an eyebrow. “I thought we were just having coffee.”  


Fili ignored him.

***

“So, what do you fancy? To drink, I mean” smirked Kili, dropping his bag full of books onto a chair in the Student Union coffee shop.  


“I’ll just have a black coffee, two sugars, thanks.”  


Kili flashed a huge smile then sauntered over to the counter, returning a few minutes later with a tray with two cups of black coffee, and two plates with pastries.  


“I didn’t know what you wanted” said Kili almost shyly, so there’s either a maple and pecan Danish, or apple and cinnamon.”  


“I’ll take the maple and pecan” replied Fili. “Thanks, that’s actually my favourite.”  


Kili grinned as he put the cups and plates on the table, abandoning the tray on the floor. “Thanks for the help” he said. “This essay is going to kick ass!”  


Fili smiled back. “Happy to.” He paused a moment. “Look, about last night... I’m sorry, ok?”  


Kili cocked his head on one side. “Depends on what you’re apologising for. If it’s for being a dick, then you are forgiven, but if it’s for kissing me, then there is nothing to forgive.”  


Fili frowned, taking a sip from his cup. “I know this might seem a bit weird and fucked up, but I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s like, no matter what I do, or how much I want to not hurt Billy, I keep coming back to you. Like, it’s fate or something; like I can’t control it.”  


Kili leaned forward in his seat, eyes locking with Fili’s. “So don’t try to.”  


“I have this recurring dream,” went on Fili, “it’s a nightmare, really. I’m a kid, five years old at home with my birth parents. I’m in my room and I can hear shouting down stairs. I’m scared. And then the door opens, and my dad comes in, and he looks so sad. And then he tells me that it’s time for me to go, and he picks up a bag, and takes my hand and we walk down stairs. There are two women there that I don’t recognise. One of them takes the bag from my dad, and then she crouches down and tells me that I’m going on an adventure, and I need to come with her. I don’t want to go, I want to stay with my mum and dad – but I can’t. And then the woman takes my hand, and I start to cry, and pull away. And I’m screaming ‘cos I’m so scared. And then my mum starts to scream, and I try and reach out for her, but the woman pulls me away. And I’m trying so hard, but my mum gets further and further away, and I can just see terror in her eyes. And then my dad shouts out to me, he says _‘stay strong son, I promise you, we will find you, one day, we will all be together again.’_ And then I wake up.”  


Kili reached out, taking Fili’s shaking hand in his own. “Is that how it happened? How you were taken from your parents?”  


Fili nodded. “But, you see... I had the dream last night – I often do when I’m feeling stressed out. But it was different. At the end, it wasn’t my dad calling to me. It was you, Kili.”  


Kili swallowed hard. “What did I say to you?”  


“You said, _‘It’s ok, we’ll find them. Together, we’ll find them.’_ So you see, even my subconscious is telling me that I should be with you. And... I don’t know what to do, because, when I met Billy, it was the first time in my life that I truly felt wanted. My adoptive parents were strict. They said that they needed to be, because my own parents were so slack with me. They cared about me, maybe even loved me, but... I always felt that I was somehow imposing on them, like I was a burden they had to carry. But with Billy, everything was different – new and fresh and... free. Because I wasn’t a burden, I was his friend, his lover. And now, I’ve met you, and I know that it will crush him, literally crush his heart if leave him. How can I do that to him? After everything he has done for me? How can I be that cruel?  


“Don’t you think it’s cruel to stay with him when you don’t love him? When you’d rather be with someone else – isn’t that worse?”  


“Maybe I’ll love him in time.”  


Kili snorted. “And maybe one day I’ll be President! Look, the way I see it, you’re hurting Bilbo by staying with him. You’re denying him the chance to meet someone who will love him, the way you want to but can’t.”  


“But how do I know it’ll be any different with you? Maybe you’ll fall in love with me, and I won’t be able to love you either. What if I’m incapable of loving anyone?”  


Kili rubbed his thumbs over the backs of Fili's hands. “You just have to make a leap of faith.”  


Fili pulled his hand away from Kili’s. “I’m sorry, I just can’t.”  


Kili sighed, running his fingers through his dark hark. “I have a recurring dream too, you know.”  


“What’s it about?” asked Fili.  


“I dream that I have a brother. You see, I don’t remember my birth parents at all. I had a good life growing up. My foster parents were awesome, they adopted me, made me feel loved and like I belonged with them. But I always felt like something was missing. I always wanted a brother. I wanted someone I could confide in; more than a friend, someone I could share my life with. I had this fantasy that I had a brother, and that he’d find me, and then my parents would adopt him too, and we would be a family, and it would be perfect. In my dream, my brother holds me, and tells me that I’m complete now, that I can stop searching for what was missing, because it doesn’t matter anymore. Because we have each other.”  


“So what does it mean?” asked Fili.  


“I don’t know” replied Kili. “Maybe I really do have a brother out there, or maybe my subconscious is telling me that I need to find someone I can truly share my life with, or maybe I just ate too much cheese. The point is, dreams are just dreams. You could spend your whole life trying to figure out what they mean, when all along you were supposed to be living your life, here and now. What happened to you when you were a kid was a terrible thing, something no-one should have to go through. But you did, and now you need to move on. You need to live your life Fili, and you need to let Bilbo live his.”  


“I need time to think.”  


“Don’t take too long, Fili. Or life might’ve moved along without you.” Kili stood up, grabbing his bag. He pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. “Here, take my number. Call me when you’ve had time to think.”  


“Aren’t you going to finish your Danish?” asked Fili, taking the piece of paper, then cursing himself silently for such a stupid question.  


“I’m not really hungry. Thanks again for the help on my essay. I’ll see you around, Fili.” Then Kili was gone.

***

Fili pushed the key into the lock of his front door. He’d hoped to get more work done today, but Kili had once again come in and swept everything else away. How was it that one person could have such an effect on him?  


Bofur suddenly appeared in the hallway “Hey, a quick word.” He pulled Fili into the empty front room. “Bilbo’s here, he’s been waiting a while.”  


“Where is he?”  


“Upstairs in your room. Look, he was asking me about Kili.”  


“What did you say?”  


“Nothing – other than the fact that he came to practice last night, and we all went out together. I said you left with me, but that you said you were going to Bilbo’s house. He looked pretty pissed off.”  


“Thanks for the heads up, mate.”  


Bofur slapped Fili on the back. “Good luck.”  


Fili nodded, “Thanks, I’ll need it.”  


When he opened the door to his room, Fili could see Bilbo sitting on the bed, looking out of the window.  


“Where’ve you been?” said Bilbo without turning around.  


“I don’t have to tell you where I am every minute of the day, you’re not my keeper, Billy” Fili snapped, more harshly than he had intended.  


Bilbo turned to face him. “No, I’m your boyfriend. So, where were you?”  


“I was at the library, and then I went for a coffee.”  


“Were you with Kili?”  


“Yes, as it happens, I was. He’s doing some essay on swords in ancient history, so I helped him out.”  


“Are you cheating on me Fili?”  


Fili bit down on his lip, eyes falling to the floor to avoid meeting Bilbo’s.  


“I’ll take your silence as a yes, then.”  


“Billy, I’m sorry... I...”  


“If you didn’t want to be with me, you just had to say. But that’s not your style is it, Fili?”  


“What do you mean, _not my style?”_  


“Well, it’s not the first time, is it? I mean, the week after we got together I caught you kissing Bofur’s brother at a party.”  


“I was very drunk, and I thought you said you’d forgiven me for that.”  


“Well it seems leopards really can’t change their nasty little spots. I hope he makes you happy Fili. That’s assuming anyone can make you happy. Gods knows I’ve tried. But it’s never enough for you. You just take and take, and never give anything back. I see that now. I thought we had a partnership, but now I realise that it was always me driving things along; you always had one foot out of this relationship. Well, now you can have both feet out.”  


“Billy... please, I didn’t want to hurt you...”  


“But you did, Fili. You did it anyway. You were my dream guy, Fili, you were everything I ever wanted. But now, you’re just a fucking nightmare.”  


“I’m so sorry, Billy...”  


“Just tell me one thing. Why did you come to my house last night? Was it guilt? Remorse? Or did you just fancy another quick fuck before bedtime? Was Kili not quite enough for you last night?”  


“I didn’t sleep with Kili last night.”  


“Don’t lie to me. It’s demeaning.”  


“I’m not lying, we just kissed... we didn’t... I came to you because I wanted... because I thought I wanted to be with you.”  


Bilbo stood up. “Good bye Fili, I hope you find what you’re looking for, otherwise Gods help poor Kili.”  


Fili watched helplessly as Bilbo left. He crumpled onto the bed, then with tears in his eyes, he reached for his phone.

**TBC...**


	4. The Choices We Make

  
Kili sat on his bed in his room, looking at his bag of books from Fili in the corner.  


“Well, this essay isn’t going to write itself” he hummed. He shoved himself up off the bed and opened the bag. His phone fell out, bouncing under the bed. Kili bent down to pick the phone up, then stopped when he noticed a piece of paper sticking out of the bag. It was covered in writing, Fili’s writing. He pulled the paper out, eyes scanning the page; notes from Fili’s dissertation research. In the margin there was a little doodle. It looked like two crossed swords. Fili’s swords. Kili ran his thumb over the doodle. He sighed, then sat down at his tiny desk and opened his laptop.  


It was just gone midnight when Kili heard a soft knock on his door.  


“Kili, are you ok in there?”  


“Hey, Ori. It’s ok, you can come in.”  


The door popped open and Ori came in with a mug of coffee and a plate of sandwiches. “I thought you could do with supplies.”  


Kili grinned. “Thanks Ori.”  


Ori put the plate and mug down on the desk next to Kili. “How’s the essay going?”  


“Nearly done!” exclaimed Kili happily. Then he cocked his head to one side. “I don’t suppose you’d read it through for me, would you Ori?”  


Ori sighed. “Ok, let me know when you’re done and I’ll take a look.”  


“Thanks, Ori. You’re the best.”  


“So you keep telling me” muttered Ori seeing himself out.

***

  


It was almost sunrise by the time Kili put the finishing touches to his essay. Ori’s read-through had resulted in a slight re-write, but now Kili felt it was perfect. He hit the print button and leaned back in his chair. Somehow, writing the essay had made him feel close to Fili. It was silly, he knew, but he didn’t care.  


There was still time to get a few hours of rest before he had to be up for lectures, so he crawled into bed and fell quickly into a dreamless sleep.  


The next morning, Kili rolled out of bed, hurriedly pulled on some clean clothes and headed out for his first class with Ori. At the end of the lecture, Kili proudly dropped his essay in to the box at the front of the class.  


“Do you want to get an early lunch?” he asked Ori.  


“Sure” replied Ori.  


The Student Union cafe was busy, but they managed to find a pair of seats.  


“So... who was it helped you with your essay then?” said Ori, sipping on his cup of herbal tea.  


Kili opened his mouth in mock astonishment. “What makes you think I had help?”  


“Come on Kili, I know you. What I read was a damn good essay. There’s no way you got all that stuff by yourself.”  


Kili grinned. “Fili helped me.”  


“What? How?”  


“I met him in the library yesterday morning. Turns out he’s quite the expert on ancient sword-making.”  


“I thought he was the king of mixed messages?”  


“Well, yes... he’s that too.”  


“Look, Kili, I know I may be out of line, but I really don’t think Fili is good for you. I mean, even if he ends up leaving Bilbo for you, how would you ever be able to trust him? If he’s cheated on Bilbo, then he could just as easily cheat on you.”  


“Gee Ori, thanks for the support.”  


“Kili Broadbeam – where the fuck have you been?” A tall blond man wearing a long sleeved green t-shirt suddenly appeared, his palms slamming down on to the table.  


“Oh, hi Leo.”  


“You have missed the past four training sessions.”  


“Really? That many?”  


“Yes. And if you miss tonight’s session, you are out of the archery club for good!”  


“What? Oh come on, that’s a bit harsh don’t you think?”  


“If I had my way, you’d have been kicked out months ago. Fortunately for you, I don’t make the rules, plus the fact that you are the second best archer in the team. But not even that will save you if you don’t get your lazy ass to practice tonight.”  


“I’ll be there, don’t worry.”  


The blond scowled down at Kili. “You’d better.” Then he stalked away.  


“I thought you and Nori were going to see that new action film tonight?” said Ori.  


“Fuck. Yes, you’re right. I’ll text him. He’ll understand.” Kili reached into his pocket for his phone. “Fuck! “ He started rummaging through his bag. “Fuck! I can’t find my phone. Ori – can you ring me?”  


Ori rolled his eyes, pulling out his phone. “It’s ringing” he said.  


“Shit. I must’ve left it at home. I don’t have time to go back to the house before the next class. Can I borrow yours?”  


“Sure Kili, whatever you need.”  


“Thanks Ori, you’re the best.” Kili flicked his thumb over the screen. “Ok, that’s done. Now then, what were we talking about?”  


“I was telling you that Fili is no good for you.”  


“Ah yes. How about we change the subject?”  


“Fine, whatever. What do you want to talk about?”  


“You.”  


“Me?”  


“Yep, you. I think you need to get laid.”  


“ _What?_ ”  


“I’m serious. The only reason you’re meddling in my love life is ‘cos you don’t have one of your own. Now, let’s see. What’s your type? I’ll bet you like really big guys, all muscles and testosterone, am I right?”  


“Kili, please... just leave it alone will you?”  


“Come on, work with me. How about Dwalin?”  


“What? Kili, he’s our housemate!”  


“So what? Is there a rule that says you can’t shag your housemates?”  


“Yes, actually there is. Are you insane?”  


“I think he likes you.”  


“Who?”  


“Dwalin. I think he fancies you.”  


Ori turned beetroot. “Kili, you shouldn’t say these things. Now I’m not going to be able to look him in the eye.”  


“So, do you like him?”  


“I guess so... but... I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.”  


“Who said anything about a relationship? You just need a damn good fuck, that’ll sort you out” said Kili taking a bite out of his sandwich  


“Ok, Kili. That’s it. I think I’ve heard enough.” Ori stood up.“I’ll see you at home.”  


“Spoilsport" grumbled Kili.

***

Kili ran the last few steps towards his front door. He had just over 30 minutes to collect his gear and get over to the shooting range. He turned the key in the lock, pushed the door open and sprinted up the stairs.  


He dropped to his knees, hand scrabbling under the bed for his phone. He picked it up. There was a missed call from Ori and three unread messages. The first two were from Leo, helpfully reminding him that he’d better turn up to archery practice tonight or else. But the third was from an unknown number. He opened it.  


_‘Billy dumped me. I’m all yours. Fx.’_  


Kili looked at the time stamp – the message had been sent last night. His heart skipped a beat. His thumb moved over the keypad, and he lifted the phone to his ear.  


“Hey” said a voice. “I’ve been waiting for you to call all day.”  


“I’m sorry” said Kili. “I left my phone at home. I only just checked it.”  


Silence.  


“So what happened?” asked Kili.  


“Billy asked me if I had cheated on him, and I couldn’t lie to him, and so he left me. I am officially single.”  


“Do you want me to come over to your place?”  


There was a little chuckle on the end of the phone. “How about I come to yours? I don’t have a double bed.”  


“I’d like that.”  


“I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.” Then the line went dead.  


Kili looked around his room, frowning. It was a mess. He started picking up the dirty clothes strewn about on the floor, shoving them into one of the laundry bags he kept in his wardrobe. There was no time to vacuum, but he did have time to change his bedding. He stripped the sheets, shoving them into the wardrobe. Then he pulled out a clean set from the drawer under his bed. Once the bed was made, he gathered up the empty cups and plates and carried them down to the kitchen.  


“ _Eww_ ” said Ori as Kili dumped the dirty crockery into the sink. “Are you trying to grow a new form of life?”  


“Nope, I’m just cleaning up for when Fili gets here!” Kili grinned.  


Ori frowned. “I thought you were going to archery practice?”  


“Oh, they won’t really kick me out. They need me on the team.”  


“So is Fili coming over to give you some more mixed messages?” asked Ori sourly.  


“Bilbo dumped him, so now he’s single!”  


“So he didn’t dump Bilbo, Bilbo dumped him?”  


“Yes, what does it matter? He can be with me now!”  


Ori sighed. “Wouldn’t you feel better if he chose to be with you, rather than you being the back-up guy?”  


Kili stared at Ori, his eyes narrowing. “ _Back-up guy?_ Wow Ori, that makes me feel really good.”  


“I’m just saying...”  


“Well, don’t , ok?” snapped Kili. He turned the taps on, squeezing a blob of washing up liquid into the sink.  


“Here,” said Ori, gently pushing Kili away from the sink. “Let me do that for you. You go get yourself ready.”  


“Thanks, Ori. You’re...”  


“I’m the best, yes,” interrupted Ori. “I know, I know. Now go – make yourself pretty.”  


Kili grinned, then scooted upstairs to the bath room. He brushed his teeth, then grabbed his electric razor. It wasn’t as close as a wet shave, but it would do. Back in his room he kicked off his shoes, then found a bottle of aftershave that he saved for special occasions. He looked down at his t-shirt and noticed a stain down the front.  


“Fuck!” he swore, pulling the t-shirt off and stuffing it into the wardrobe. He wrenched open a drawer, desperately searching for a decent top to wear. Eventually he settled for a dark blue short-sleeved t-shirt. Just as he pulled it on, he heard the door bell.  


“I’ll get it!” Kili shouted, running out of his room and down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time.  


He passed a slightly bewildered Nori in the hallway, then flung open the door. Fili was standing there, a nervous smile on his face.  


“Hey” he said.  


“Hey” said Kili. “Come on in.”  


Fili stepped through the doorway, and held up a four pack of Budweiser bottles. “I figured you were more of a beer guy than a wine guy.”  


“Yeah, I’m not really a wine drinker” grinned Kili, shutting the door behind Fili.  


“Hey Nori” Fili nodded to his friend in the hallway.  


“Hey Fili” said Nori, a confused look on his face. “Um... am I missing something here?”  


“Nope, all good here” said Kili, grabbing Fili’s hand and pulling him upstairs.  


“Don’t you want a drink first?” asked Fili as they stumbled into Kili’s room.  


“Not really” replied Kili, taking the beer and putting it on the floor. “I’d rather have you first.”  


He cupped Fili’s face with his hands, dragging him in for a kiss.  


“My God, that feels good knowing you’re _mine_ now” breathed Kili, releasing Fili. He stood still just staring at Fili for a moment. “Fuck, you’re hot. You are _so_ fucking hot!”  


He pulled Fili in again, running his tongue over Fili’s piercing, his hand snaking around Fili’s waist and pulling their hips together.  


Fili ran a finger along Kili’s jaw. “You shaved” he said, a little disappointedly.  


“You don’t like it?” asked Kili, worried.  


“No! It’s just... I liked it better when you had some stubble. That’s all.”  


“I can grow it again” said Kili anxiously.  


“It’s fine. You’re fine. You’re perfect.” Fili placed his hands on Kili’s hips. “Or at least you will be once we’ve got these clothes off you.”  


He twisted the fabric of Kili’s t-shirt between his fingers, pushing it up Kili’s body as he leaned in for another kiss.  


Kili groaned at the contact of Fili’s fingers on his skin. He reached down, tugging the t-shirt over his head.  


Fili breathed in deeply, nostrils flaring, pupils dilating at the sight of Kili’s naked torso. His hands came up to Kili’s shoulders, thumbs rubbing circles along the contoured flesh. “Is this all from martial arts?” he asked softly.  


“I do archery as well” replied Kili.  


“Archery?”  


“Yep.”  


“Mmmm... I think I’d like to see you shoot sometime.”  


Kili grinned. “I'm sure you could make me shoot for you now.” He tugged at Fili’s t-shirt. “Off” he demanded.  


Fili complied, quickly dragging the shirt off, then pushing Kili back towards the bed. Kili flopped down, rolling slightly as he hit the soft sheets. Kili held out his hand, and Fili took it, kicking his shoes off before sliding down on to the bed next to Kili.  


“I haven’t stopped thinking about you... about this” hummed Fili, peppering Kili’s chest with kisses. He lingered a moment, fingers brushing over the bulge in Kili’s jeans.  


Kili’s hand glided over Fili’s, finger and thumb flicking the button open. Fili responded by pulling the zip down slowly. He moved down the bed, pressing a kiss to Kili’s cock, already leaking into the fabric of his boxer shorts.  


“Now who’s teasing” said Kili reproachfully.  


Fili looked up and shrugged. He curled his fingers under the waistband of Kili’s boxers, pulling them and Kili’s jeans down. Then he scooted back up the bed, kissing Kili deeply, his tongue sliding along the roof of Kili’s mouth. His knee shifted up so that his thigh was pressing against Kili’s cock.  


Kili made a high pitched whining noise.  


Fili chuckled. “Ok, just hold on a second.” He stripped off his shorts and underpants then moved between Kili’s legs, gently spreading them.  


“So, how do you want to do this?” murmured Fili.  


“However you want to... whatever you want to do” Kili breathed out.  


Fili cocked his head to one side. “Whatever I want?”  


“Anything.”  


Fili moved slowly, pushing Kili’s knees up and spreading his legs wider apart. He kissed his way along Kili’s thigh. He paused for a moment, his breath ghosting over Kili’s cock and balls. Then he dipped his head and kissed Kili’s puckered hole, his tongue gently laving the tight muscle.  


_“Holy fuck, Fili!”_  


“You said anything”  


“’I’m not complaining. Like I said before... it’s just... been a while. I think I’m as sensitive as I was when I was still a virgin.”  


Fili grinned. “Really? Well that opens up so many possibilities.” He slowly traced his tongue around Kili’s hole, relishing the delicious noises coming out of Kili’s mouth. He flicked the end of his tongue against Kili, teasing him with little stabbing motions.  


Kili moaned loudly. “ _Fuck!_ ”  


“All in good time” murmured Fili. “You have some lube?”  


Kili nodded, “bedside cabinet, bottom draw.”  


Fili slid off the bed and opened the draw, a little gasp escaping his lips when he saw the contents.  


“You certainly like your... _toys_ ” he said.  


“Well, I’ve had to keep myself amused these past five months.”  


Fili chewed on his lip, sucking the silver ring into his mouth. “I feel like a kid in a candy store. Where do I even begin?”  


Kili propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at Fili on the floor next to the bed. “Wherever you want.”  


Fili sighed. “I think we’ll start with some old school.” He picked up a tube of cherry-flavoured lubricant and squeezed a generous amount onto his hand. Then he climbed up on to the bed, positioning himself back between Kili’s legs.  


“Lie back” said Fili, pushing Kili’s chest gently. He pressed another kiss to Kili’s entrance before brushing his fingers against it. He rubbed a circle with his thumb, slowly pushing past the ring of muscle.  


“Fuck, Kili, you’re _tight_ ”  


Kili simply made a pleased hum in the back of his throat.  


Fili chewed on his lip ring again and pulled his thumb out causing Kili to sigh. He quickly replaced the digit with two fingers, scissoring them experimentally.  


Kili gasped, his hips rising up off the bed.  


Fili gripped the sheets with his free hand. He was torn between using some of those very interesting looking toys on Kili and simply loosing himself in that tight wet heat. He curled his fingers up, pushing deeper, seeking Kili’s pleasure spot. He was rewarded with something like a growl from Kili; an almost feral shout.  


“You’re going to be noisy, aren’t you?” Fili mused.  


“Depends how hard you fuck me.”  


Fili came to a decision; the toys would keep for another time. He added a third finger, twisting and rolling his hand, easing Kili open as quickly as he could.  


Kili hissed. “Careful...” he warned.  


“Sorry” mumbled Fili, kissing Kili’s thigh apologetically. “Your mouth is going to get us both in to trouble.”  


“ _My_ mouth? You’re the one who’s been kissing my... ohhhhhh”  


Fili silenced Kili with particularly deep thrust of his fingers. “I think you’re ready” he announced.  


Kili’s brow furrowed. “I’m not sure I’m...”  


“Trust me,” said Fili. “I know what I’m doing.”  


Fili slowly pulled his fingers out, marveling at the way Kili’s entrance fluttered helplessly at the loss. He sat back and leaned over the bed, fishing about in the pocket of his discarded shorts on the floor and returning with a condom packet. He ripped the corner of the packet with his teeth and slid the condom out, carefully rolling it down his cock. Although the condom was already lubricated, he squirted another large glob of the cherry flavoured lube on his hand, this time slicking it along his cock, thick and heavy with anticipation.  


Fili looked down at Kili; his face had a beautiful pink flush to it, and his dark hair was splayed out on the white sheets beneath them. His brown eyes were as big as saucers, and his red lips were slightly parted, his breath hitching as he looked up at Fili. Fili smiled and kissed the tip of Kili’s nose.  


“We can stop any time, just tell me to stop and I will.”  


Kili licked his lips and nodded. “Ok.”  


Fili shifted slightly on the bed, lining himself up. He pushed forward, sucking in a deep breath as he breached Kili.  


For a few seconds everything went black, and Fili felt like he was falling. He heard a voice that sounded like it was coming from far away, and he realised it was Kili.  


“Fili... Fili, are you ok?”  


Fili’s eyes snapped open, panicking suddenly. “Kili! Do you want me to stop?”  


“No, I want you to move” Kili tried to roll his hips up.  


“Fuck, Kili... you are _so fucking tight!_ ” Fili gasped as waves of wet heat rolled over him, the friction almost painful.  


“ _Move!_ ”  


Fili braced his hands against the bed, rolling his hips in slow, deep thrusts.  


“Ohhhhh... yessss... fuck, yes!” Kili yelled. “Yesss... fuck... yes! Holy fuck, Fili, yesss...”  


“I knew you’d be noisy” grinned Fili.  


“More! Harder... fuck, Fili... harder!” Kili threw his head back, his body arching off the bed  


Fili started to quicken the pace, encouraged by Kili’s shouts.  


“Ohhh... Fili... please, more... yesss!” Kili’s hands snaked up to Fili’s hips, fingers clawing at the flesh, trying to drag Fili in deeper, his muscles clamping down on Fili like a vice.  


“Fucking hell, Kili!” Fili gasped, “I’m not going to last long like this.”  


“Fuck... fuck... yesss, fuck me _harder_ , Fili, _fuck me_...”  


“Oh, shit... Kili... I’m...”  


Fili never got to finish the sentence as Kili let out a loud wail, somehow managing to tighten even more around Fili’s cock. Kili’s body started to buck and spasm, and it was all Fili could do to hold on as his own release barreled into him, his hips jerking as Kili pulled them both over.  


They lay on the bed panting. Fili rolled to the side; Kili sighing as Fili slid out of him. The sticky white mess that had spattered across both their chests was rapidly cooling and Fili looked around for something to clean it up.  


“There’s a towel on the chair” Kili managed to say.  


Fili nodded, quickly retrieving the towel and wiping Kili down first. When he’d got most of the cum cleaned up, he flopped down on the bed next to Kili, rolling in to kiss him.  


“How the fuck did you do that?” he whispered.  


“Do what?”  


“That thing... I thought you were tight, and then you were like... _really tight_. How did you do that?”  


Kili shrugged. “I dunno... I just... kind of tense up when I’m about to come.”  


“It was fucking amazing. You’re amazing.”  


Fili leaned in for another kiss, sucking on Kili’s lower lip. Kili groaned, his hands coming up to tangle in Fili’s dreadlocks. Fili’s tongue slid out, curling into Kili’s mouth, deepening the kiss.  


Kili’s cock twitched against Fili’s thigh.  


Fili chuckled, looking down. “You wanna go again?”  


“Well, there’s still all that candy waiting for you in my bottom draw.”  


Fili grinned. “Yes there is...”

**TBC...**


	5. In Fate’s Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit longer than usual, but it didn't make sense to split it up. Hope you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of self-harm

Kili lay back on his bed. His body felt utterly wrecked; he and Fili had screwed for hours, and he was pretty sure that Fili could’ve kept going. Kili was seriously out of condition. But despite his physical exhaustion, Kili’s mind was racing. There was something about Fili that was almost _intoxicating_. Kili had never met anyone like Fili, but now that he had, he wanted him more than anything in the world. It was raw and brutal; he was pretty sure he’d kill to be with Fili. He looked at the blond lying sleeping next to him and wondered who else had watched Fili sleep. The thought was like a knife in his heart. It was shocking, the intensity of the feeling. He draped a possessive arm over Fili and shivered. Now they were together, Kili would make damn sure he was the only one who got to wake up next to Fili.  


Fili stirred, Kili’s shifting arm seeming to rouse him from his sleep. He yawned and opened his eyes.  


“Hi there” Fili murmured blearily.  


“Hey” whispered Kili in return. “Did you sleep well?”  


“Mmmmm...” Fili groaned happily nodding his head. He pressed a kiss to Kili’s chest. “D’you wanna go again?”  


“Gimme a moment” Kili chuckled. “I’m still recovering from the last one.”  


“It was pretty intense, wasn’t it?”  


“You have no idea.”  


Fili grinned. “I have a pretty good idea. But I don’t want to tire you out too much. Let’s leave it a bit shall we?”  


“Thanks” said Kili. He let out a sigh. “So... while you were sleeping, I was thinking.”  


“Oh yes, what about?” Fili propped his head up with one arm, leaning against Kili’s body.  


“Well... you know how you said I was in your dream?”  


Fili stiffened suddenly. “Yes...” he said slowly.  


“I was thinking that if dream Kili wanted to help you find your parents, then I should. Plus I do actually know where to start.”  


“What do you mean?”  


“When I turned eighteen, my adopted parents told me that if I wanted to, they would help me find my birth parents. You see, there’s this organisation, it’s called something like ‘Family Finders’, I don’t know, I forget exactly, but you can register with them. You give them all the details you know, date of birth, town of birth if you know it, date of your adoption and so on, and they look to see if it matches anyone they have on their database. If your birth parents are looking for you, and they have registered on the database, you get an email from the organisation, and then you decide whether or not you want to meet them, your parents that is, not the organisation.”  


Fili was still, his eyes locked on Kili’s. “And did you find your parents?”  


“No. I never registered. I told my adoptive parents that as far as I was concerned, they are my real parents, and I was happy with that.”  


Fili chewed on his lip ring. “So, you could help me register?”  


“Yes. I think I’m meant to help you. I don’t know... it sounds weird but ever since I met you, I’ve felt like this was fate or destiny or something. I’m meant to be with you. And I think this is partly why – ‘cos I can help you find your parents. Oh, and ‘cos I’ve just had the most amazing sex of my entire life.”  


Fili blushed, rolling on to his back. “You keep saying stuff like that and you’ll never get rid of me.”  


Kili rolled over, straddling Fili. He looked down on the blond. “I have no intention of getting rid of you.” He leaned in, nipping at Fili’s neck. “In fact, I mean to keep you with me forever.”  


“I see you’ve recovered then” noted Fili, his hand brushing against Kili’s cock that had sprung up between them.  


“Actually, I have an idea.” Kili rolled off the bed, dragging Fili with him. “Did I mention we have a double shower?”  


Fili grinned. “Your house is awesome.”  


Kili opened the door and poked his head into the hallway.  


“Ok, the coast is clear, come on!”  


“Kili!” hissed Fili “shouldn’t we get some clothes on first?”  


“Nope” replied Kili pulling Fili out of the door.  


The two of them ran down the hallway, giggling.  


Suddenly the bathroom door opened.  


“Kili!”  


“Oh, uh... hi Ori.”  


Fili stepped in close behind Kili, wrapping his arms around his chest.  


“Hi Ori!” said the blond cheerfully. “Are you done in there? Only we were going to have a shower.”  


Ori turned pink. “Y-y-yes... I-I’m finished” he stammered, desperately trying to get past the two naked men in front of him.  


Fili rutted slowly against Kili’s ass, causing the brunette to yelp.  


“Thanks, mate!” Fili called after Ori, laughing as he watched him scurry away down stairs.  


They fell into the bathroom, Kili quickly shutting and locking the door.  


“You’re evil!” Kili reprimanded Fili, poking him in the chest  


“Hey – it was your idea to run naked through the house.”  


“Well, yes, but Ori’s a sensitive guy. You should be nicer to him.”  


“I think it’s _you_ he wants to be nicer to him” smirked Fili.  


“What do you mean?”  


“He totally has the hots for you.”  


“Ori? No way, we’re just friends.”  


“You may well be, but he definitely wants you. I reckon he might even be in love with you.” Fili pulled Kili in for another kiss. “Should I be worried?”  


“About Ori? God, no! He really isn’t my type.”  


“Oh yes?” said Fili, nibbling along the shell of Kili’s ear. “And just what is your type?”  


“Oh, I don’t know... tall, dark and handsome. A bit like me really,” Kili grinned.  


Fili shoved him up against the wall. “I may have to spank you for that.”  


Kili’s eyebrows shot up, and he swallowed hard. “Let’s get in shower.”  


Fili stepped back as Kili fumbled his way over to the shower. The brunette opened the door and switched on the water.  


“Are you coming, then?” he called over his shoulder, stepping into the stream of hot water.  


Fili followed Kili into the cubicle, closing the door after him.  


“This shower is huge” exclaimed Fili, “how did you guys find this house?”  


“Ori found it. He looked around at a few places, then just kinda sorted everything out. He’s good like that. Even set up a joint bank account that we all pay into. Er... why are we talking about this? You’re naked in my shower!”  


Fili simply smiled, stepping forward and pressing Kili against the tiles. He kissed Kili, long and slow. The water beat down on their skin, as the cubicle filled with steam. Kili felt like his head was spinning, Fili’s tongue exploring his mouth as Fili’s hands explored his body. His cock was rock hard and aching.  


“What shower gel you got?” Fili murmured in Kili’s ear as he stroked Kili’s cock.  


“Um... mint, on the shelf behind you” gasped Kili.  


Fili turned around briefly to grab a bottle of green shower gel, squirting a blob on his hand. Then he rubbed his fingers together to make a good lather.  


“Mmm... smells good” he said. “Now then, let’s see if I can get _you_ all lathered up.”  


Fili slid a hand around Kili’s cock, gently teasing the skin back, the minty bubbles sending tingles along the sensitive skin. He stroked up and down, his other hand dropping down to cup Kili’s sac. Kili leaned back, eyes half closing enjoying the attention.  


Fili worked methodically, spreading bubbles all along Kili’s cock. As Kili arched into the contact, Fili leaned back, mouth opening to catch some of the hot water, then he dropped to his knees and let the water dribble out of his mouth and over Kili’s soapy cock.  


“Holy fuck!” gasped Kili, “that feels amazing!”  


Fili grinned and leaned back to catch some more water.  


Kili closed his eyes.  


Fili let the water dribble out again, but this time he took Kili’s cock in his mouth. He ran his piercing over the sensitive tip, ripping a groan from the brunette’s throat.  


Kili wound his fingers around Fili’s dreadlocks, pushing Fili’s head against his cock. “Do that again” he breathed.  


Fili grinned and repeated the action, grasping the base of Kili’s cock. He swirled his tongue up and down, squeezing and pulsing with his hands. Once again he caught some water in his mouth, letting it run over Kili’s cock. Then he sucked Kili deep into his throat.  


Kili made a little whimpering noise, his hips bucking forward.  


Fili kept sucking, hands pumping, relishing the taste of Kili on his tongue. He relaxed his jaw, taking Kili as deep as he could. Then he reached around with his other hand and ran his fingers over Kili’s ass cheeks. Using the hot water as lubrication, he pressed a single finger against Kili’s tight hole, gently pushing in.  


Kili’s hips shook, making little thrusting movements as more groans slipped from his lips. Fili continued, pulsing his finger in and out of Kili as he sucked and squeezed. He added a second finger and pushed in deeper, hunting for Kili’s pleasure spot. Within minutes he had Kili shaking and moaning.  


“Oh, fuck, Fili... yess... oh, gods... yesss!”  


Fili grinned, once more flicking his piercing over the tip of Kili’s cock, this time pressing against Kili’s slit.  


The sensations were too much for Kili and he let out a cry. “Ohhhhh! I’m coming!” he gasped.  


Fili pulled his mouth away, but pushed deeper with his finger, pressing hard against Kili’s prostate. He closed his eyes and parted his lips as Kili spurted cum over his face, his tongue flicking out to catch the white ropes.  


The sight of Fili on his knees, with his face covered in cum, left Kili breathless. He dropped down on his knees too, taking Fili’s face in his hands and slotted their lips together. He could taste himself on Fili’s tongue, and sucked at it greedily.  


“Fucking hell!” he gasped, “that was... so... fucking... hot!”  


Fili grinned. “Happy to oblige.”

***

Eventually, Fili and Kili left the bathroom, and tip-toed along the hallway back to Kili’s room; this time they had towels wrapped around them.  


Kili grabbed a can off of his shelf and quickly sprayed under his arms.  


“Uh... can I borrow some deodorant?” asked Fili as he ran a towel over his dreadlocks.  


“Sure” replied Kili, tossing Fili the can.  


“Mmm... now I get to smell like you” said Fili grinning.  


Kili laughed. “Hey, whatever turns you on, sugar” he said, blowing Fili a kiss.  


Fili shook his head, smiling as he sprayed himself. “C’mon you, you said you were gonna register me with this website thing.”  


“Ah, yes!” said Kili. He rummaged in a draw for a clean pair of boxer shorts, slipped them on, then sat down at his desk and flipped his laptop open.  


Fili picked up his clothes from the previous night and quickly dressed. He stood behind Kili, watching Kili fire up his laptop.  


“Here we go, Family Finding Foundation” said Kili. “Just click on register, and bam, we’re in.” He turned and looked up at Fili. “Over to you now.”  


Fili frowned “Can you fill it in for me? I don’t really like forms. Just read out what info they need.”  


Kili shrugged. “Ok.” He scanned the page. “Date of birth.”  


“September 3rd, 1988.”  


“So you’re a Virgo then,” Kili smirked.  


“Next question, princess.”  


“Ok... place of birth.”  


“Ered Luin. It’s partly why I chose to come to uni here.”  


Kili tapped away at the keyboard. “Er... date of adoption, do you know that?”  


“July 4th, 1993” said Fili softly.  


Kili nodded, “I guess that’s not something you really forget.” He scrolled down the page. “Given name at birth.”  


“Phoenix Durin.”  


“How do you spell that?”  


“P-h-o...”  


“No, I got Phoenix, I meant your surname.”  


“Oh, D-u-r-i-n.”  


“Thanks. Um... let’s see... we just need a contact email address and phone number.”  


“Phoenix-dot-Lombard-@-eredluin-dot-ac-me.”  


“And phone number?”  


“Use my mobile.”  


Kili tapped in the numbers. “I kinda memorised that” he said, blushing slightly.  


Fili laughed softly. “No worries.”  


“Right, that’s it now. We just have to wait and see if your parents are registered. If they are, you’ll get an email notification, and then you decide whether or not you want to get in contact. Ok... you want some breakfast?”  


“Sorry,” said Fili leaning down to kiss Kili’s neck. “I’m supposed to be running a seminar group in about 20 minutes. I need to run.”  


“Don’t you have time for a coffee?”  


“I’d love to, but I need to grab some notes for the seminar.”  


Kili sighed. “Ok, but will you call me later?”  


“Sure” replied Fili. He pulled on his socks and shoes. “See you later.” With that, he opened the bedroom door and headed off.  


Kili leaned back in his chair and stretched out his arms, a huge smile on his face. Things were pretty damn peachy.  


Suddenly there was a knock on the door.  


Kili stood up and opened the door, “oh... hi Nori, what’s up?”  


“You are!” snapped the older man, pushing in to the room. “Just what the fuck do you think you’re playing at?”  


Kili stepped backwards looking bewildered. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  


“Your little display this morning; running around naked – how is that ok?”  


“Oh, Ori told you about that.”  


“Yes, he did... eventually.”  


“What do you mean, _eventually_?”  


“After I found him crying his fucking heart out. Fuck, Kili, it’s one thing for you to have guys in your room, but it’s another thing entirely to be practically fucking them on the landing.”  


“Since when did you get to tell me how to run my sex life? And why the fuck was Ori crying?”  


Nori stared at Kili. “You’re joking right?”  


Kili held his hands up. “You are making no sense to me, right now.”  


“Ori is in love with you, you moron!”  


Kili paled. “No... he’s my friend, we’re just friends.”  


“Are you really so gods damn blind? He’s been in love with you since before I even met you.”  


“I honestly didn’t know. I-I didn’t mean to... is... is he ok?”  


Nori sneered. “Tell me Kili, you ever see Ori in a short-sleeved t-shirt?”  


“Uh... no, actually, come to think of it.”  


“My little brother went through hell in his teens when he realised he was gay. Our parents weren’t exactly supportive. I tried my best, but he was in a dark place. He... he...” Nori faltered, his voice suddenly choking up. “He started cutting himself... his arms, mostly. My parents kept sending him to these places where they think they can cure homosexuality.” Nori laughed. “Those people should be shot. It took my parents years to finally accept who he was, and even more for him to accept it.”  


Kili shook his head. “I’m sorry... I had no idea. He never told me any of that.”  


“Then you’re an idiot. And I’ll tell you this. If I find out he’s started cutting again, I will break your pretty face so badly, no-one will want you.”  


“Hey, hold on a minute, Nori...”  


“And you have until the end of the week to find somewhere else to live.”  


“What the fuck? You can’t kick me out, I have as much right to live here as any of you!”  


“Save it, Kili, I’ve already spoken to Dwalin, and he agrees with me.”  


“And what about Ori, doesn’t he get a say in this?”  


“Even if he did want you to stay, he’s out-voted. You’re leaving. Period. Best get packing.” Then Nori turned and left, slamming the door on the way out.  


Kili stared at the door for a few seconds, then he pulled it open and stomped out in to the hallway. “Dwalin! You in?”  


The big man was already coming up the stairs.  


“What the fuck is this? You’re my friend, man! We’re bro’s, we’re fucking sparring partners!”  


Dwalin reached the top of the stairs and stared at Kili, then he sighed. “You’re still my friend, Kili.”  


“So why are you siding with Nori?”  


“Because it’s the best thing for Ori. Having you around isn’t good for him. Especially when you’re... when you’re in a relationship.”  


“This is complete bullshit! I’ve slept with guys before and it’s never been a problem. Ok, it was a while back, but what the fuck, man?”  


“He’s a sensitive guy. And you... well, you’re not exactly discrete.”  


“Why does everyone suddenly have an opinion on my sex life?”  


“I’m sure you’ll find somewhere quickly. You always land on your feet.”  


“You know what? Screw you! I don’t want to stay here with you wankers anyway!”  


“C’mon, Kili, don’t be a dick. We don’t have to fall out over this.”  


“Well, you should’ve thought about that before you decided to kick me out of my fucking home!”  


“I’m not having this conversation with you now. Go and calm down and we’ll talk later. Look, I think I know a guy that’s looking for a flat mate. I’ll give him a call if you like.”  


“No thanks – I think you’ve done enough for me today.” Kili glowered, then turned around and went back into his room.

***

Fili sat in the bar sipping on his drink. He glanced at his watch; Kili was late. He was about to send a text, when he saw the familiar dark hair framing an inordinately cute face making its way across the crowded room.  


Kili slumped down at the table, dropping a bottle on to a beer mat. “What a fucking day!” he said.  


“What exactly happened? In your message it sounded like you said you’ve been kicked out of your house.”  


“I have.”  


“What? Why?”  


“I’m apparently emotionally damaging to Ori. His brother threatened to break my face.”  


“Nori said that to you?” asked Fili incredulously.  


“Yeah. Ori got upset after seeing us this morning.”  


“Wow... isn’t that a bit of an over-reaction? I mean, what about Dwalin? What does he think? Isn’t he like your best mate?”  


Kili took a swig from his beer bottle. “Not anymore.”  


Fili blew out a breath. “Fuck, Kili. That’s intense.” He thoughtful for a moment. “Listen, I’ll have to check with Bofur and the guys, but I don’t think they’d mind if you crashed with us for a couple of days. At least until you find something permanent.” He grinned, taking a sip of his drink. “My bed is just a single tho, so it’ll be cosy.”  


“Thanks, Fili” said Kili, “that’s really great of you, I...”  


“Ah, there you are Kili!”  


“Oh, great” said Kili, under his breath. “Hi Leo. Fili, this is Leo Glass, captain of the university archery team. Leo, this is Fili.”  


“Hi Leo” said Fili smiling.  


“Leo, I’ve had a pretty shitty day” said Kili, sighing. “So if you want to tell me I’m off the archery team, just say your piece and go. I’m not in the mood for your gloating.”  


The tall blond looked confused for a second. “I’m not here to gloat, Broadbeam. Didn’t you get my text message?”  


“I didn’t feel like reading it.”  


Leo raised his eyebrow. “Ok... well, I’m not here to kick you off the team.”  


“You’re not?”  


“No.” Leo shifted awkwardly on his feet. “Look, I’m only going to do this once.” He dropped down on one knee. “Kili, I am begging you, please come back to the archery team. It’s the regionals next week end, and we need you.”  


Kili stared open mouthed.  


“Why? What happened to you kicking me off?”  


Leo bit his lip. “Elrond got arrested. He’s currently on remand and I don’t think he’ll be out any time soon. And without him, there’s only really me... and you... who can compete at that level.”  


“What about Tauriel?”  


“It’s her uncle’s funeral that week end. So she can’t make it.”  


“Why did the guy get arrested?” asked Fili.  


“He was caught selling dope to some high school kids. One of them was the son of a cop.”  


“Owch” said Fili.  


Kili thought for a second. “Wasn’t Elrond your housemate?”  


“Yes” replied Leo.  


“Ok, here’s the deal,” said Kili. “I will graciously rejoin the team, and compete at the regionals next week, _if_ you let me have Elrond’s old room.”  


“You want to move in with me?” asked Leo slowly.  


“Not _with_ you, just in your house.”  


“Don’t you already have a place?”  


“It’s not really convenient for me anymore.”  


“But isn’t it opposite the university entrance?”  


“Do you want me on the team or not?”  


“Ok, ok! But I’ll have to ask the others first.”  


“Well... go on then” said Kili ushering Leo away with a flick of his hand. “You go ask them and let me know.”  


Leo frowned, then stood up. “Let me give them a call” he said.  


Kili took another swig from his bottle and grinned at Fili. “This could be just what I need.”  


Fili laughed. “Nothing keeps you down for long.”  


“Nope.”  


Leo returned a minute later. “The guys say it’s ok. You can move in tomorrow. So, are you in?”  


“Yes” said Kili, “that will do nicely.”  


“Good. I’ll expect you at practice then tomorrow evening.” Leo pursed his lips. “Nice to meet you Fili.”  


“You too” said the blond raising his glass.  


Kili watched Leo walk away and then burst out laughing. “Oh, my god! Did you see that? He actually begged me! On his fucking _knees_!”  


“He didn’t really look like the guy that would generally do that sort of thing” admittedly Fili.  


“We should celebrate!” said Kili springing up. “Shots! Wait there, I’ll be back in a sec!”

***

By the time Kili and Fili stumbled through the door of Fili’s shared house, they were both steaming drunk.  


“Ooops!” giggled Kili, falling against Fili and pinning him to the wall. He tried to kiss the blond, but missed, his lips brushing against Fili’s shoulders.  


“You’re making my t-shirt wet” snickered Fili. “Oohh... that tickles!”  


Kili gave Fili a lopsided grin. “I could tickle you somewhere else.” He reached out and poked Fili in the stomach.  


“Get off!” laughed Fili, trying to push Kili away.  


Kili pouted. “You’re no fun.”  


“Come on, let’s get you upstairs” Fili tried to pick Kili up, but only succeeded in lifting one leg off the ground.  


“Are you tryin’ to carry me over your th-thresh... uh, wass the word?”  


“Threshold?”  


“Yessss.. thassit!”  


“Maybe.”  


Kili giggled again. “I like you.” He leaned in and gave Fili a kiss on the end of his nose.  


“I like you too. But, really, I need to get you upstairs.”  


“Are you goin’ to take advantage of me?”  


“Absolutely.”  


“Oh good!”  


The two of them half walked, half crawled up the stairs to Fili’s bed room, arms entangled around each other. They fell into the room, lips pressed together.  


“Ooops!” said Fili, his phone falling out of his pocket. He bent down to pick the phone up and frowned. His fingers flicked across the screen, then his eyes widened.  


“Whassup?” asked Kili.  


“I’ve got an email from the Family Finding people.”  


“Oh...” said Kili instantly sobering up.  


“What should I do?” asked Fili  


“Well... do you want to see your parents again?”  


Fili chewed his lip ring and nodded. “More than anything.”  


Kili reached out and took Fili’s free hand in his own. “Then say yes.”  


Fili smiled back, and flicked his fingers across the screen again. He let out a breath. “It’s done.”  


Kili pulled Fili’s hand up to his lips and kissed it. “I’m happy for you.”  


Fili felt a lump in his throat. He threw his arms around Kili, pressing kisses over his face and neck. “Thank you so much, Kili.” He pulled away for a second, and gazed into Kili’s dark eyes. “Gods man... I think I love you!”

***

The man pushed his key into the lock, opening the door. With a tired sigh he shrugged his coat off and hung it on the wall. He walked into the kitchen, flicking on the light. He opened the fridge and grabbed a can of beer, popping it open. There was a pizza box on the kitchen side, and he smiled to see a couple of slices left. He helped himself to one and headed into the front room.  


He could hear his housemate moving around upstairs, but ignored him. He wandered over to the old desk top computer that they shared in the corner of the room. He flicked the mouse and the screen came to life. He grinned when he saw his housemate’s gmail account left open. He was about to send some rude messages when he noticed something.  


“Hey!” he shouted up to his housemate. “Get your arse down here now, Thorin, you’ve got an email.”  


**TBC...**


	6. Lights and Shadows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for the delay in posting a new chapter for this fic, other than real life getting in the way, and a bout of depression that although wasn't as bad as it could've been, did pretty much kill off any creativity I had. So here is the update anyway. It's not been beta'd so I apologise for any mistakes. I hope you guys like it. I'm going to update my other fics now (Two Princes and In Memory of Love and Grief are on the cards next, and you never know, I might even get around to updating Lessons in Love).
> 
> And the "waking up scene" is dedicated to Ang, who I should be a better friend to. I love you hun!

Thorin’s hands trembled as he clicked on the message, eyes widening as he read the contents.  


“Oh, Balin, this is it – our prayers have been answered!”  


“Does it say which one?” asked Balin, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.  


“No” replied Thorin. “But it doesn’t matter, you know what Oin said _‘Where one is to be found, the other will follow’.”_  


The older man frowned. He was fairly sceptical when it came to Oin’s alleged clairvoyance, but Thorin was convinced.  


“Do you think we should tell Dis?” asked Thorin.  


A look of sadness passed over Balin’s face.  


“No” he said gently. “I don’t think that will help.” He placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder.  


Thorin nodded, teeth biting into his lower lip to hold his emotions at bay. With a sigh, he returned to key board and composed a reply. Balin leaned over his shoulder, squinting at the text. A few corrections were made, and then Thorin clicked send.  


“Well now, old friend, I guess we just have to wait.”

***

Kili opened a bleary eye. It took him a few moments to remember where he was. He looked at the sleeping form of Fili next to him, and a little smile crossed his face. He wriggled down the bed, taking care not to wake Fili. He slid under the coverlet and placed a single kiss on Fili’s thigh. The blond murmured in his sleep, his legs parting slightly, but he did not wake. Kili spied the outline of Fili’s half-hard cock in the gloom beneath the covers. Moving slowly, he wrapped his fingers around the base, and inch by inch, took it into his mouth.  


Fili moaned, his hips rising up. Kili slid his hands underneath them and ran his tongue along Fili’s shaft. He started to move his head, bobbing up and down in a steady rhythm. A hand suddenly appeared, fingers twisting in Kili’s hair as it pushed his head down. Kili paused for a second and pushed the coverlet back. He could see Fili looking down at him.  


“Good morning” grinned Kili.  


“It is now. As long as you get back to what you were doing.”  


Kili chuckled and returned his attentions to Fili, devouring him in a single movement. He heard the pleased groan of Fili as he pulsed his head up and down, greedily sucking at the tip and then opening his jaw to take as much as he could.  


“Fuck, Kili! That feels soooo good!” Fili’s hands once again pushed at Kili’s head, forcing the brunette down.  


Kili pushed his hands against Fili’s thighs, gently coaxing them apart and rubbing tiny circles into the heated flesh. Then, ever so slowly, he ran his thumbs down, teasing at Fili’s sac. The blond gasped at the new sensation, his head falling back on the pillow, eyes squeezed shut.  


“Oh... fuck, yes!” he ground out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”  


Kili’s lips smirked up, then hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard before pulling way with a wet pop. He smiled smugly.  


“Whenever you’re ready...”  


Before he knew what was happening, Fili sat up, and flipped over, pinning the brunette to the bed.  


“You are a terrible tease, Killi” whispered Fili before nipping at the younger man’s neck. His fingers slowly traced the line of Kili’s spine, stopping at his tail bone. “Luckily I am a very forgiving person.”  


Kili felt a release of pressure as Fili leaned away from the bed, fumbling for something on the floor. A few seconds later, he heard the familiar click of the cap of a tube of lube. He held in a breath in anticipation. Fili’s slicked fingers felt cold and tingly as they brushed against his tight hole. He sighed, hips arching back to meet Fili, then gasped as he was breached.  


“Fuck, Kili, how are you still so tight after last night?”  


“It’s a gift” mumbled Kili into the mattress.  


“You’re fucking _amazing!”_  


Fili nuzzled the back of Kili’s neck, dragging his teeth over Kili’s pulse point. His fingers moved slowly, scissoring slightly, causing Kili to buck up. He marvelled not for the first time how Kili’s body reacted to his touch; he’d never known anyone quite like it. With other lovers it usually took some time to really understand exactly each other’s needs. But with Kili, he instinctively knew how to have him coming to pieces in minutes. Kili somehow seemed more open, more honest than any other man he’d had in his bed.  


It didn’t take long for Kili to start to whimper; an extremely pleasing sound as far as Fili was concerned.  


“Fuck, Fili... _please!”_  


Fili kissed Kili’s shoulder and gently withdrew his fingers.  


“Wait there” he whispered, and slipped off the bed.  


“Like I’m going anywhere” retorted Kili. He ground his hips against the mattress for some friction. Then he felt the mattress dip as Fili settled back down, straddling Kili’s legs.  


Fili quickly slid on a condom, and then gently pulled Kili up on to his hands and knees. Kissing the brunette again, he lined himself up and carefully pushed in.  


The sensation of heat overtook him, and Fili had to put out a hand to steady himself. He brought his hips back and he began to move slowly, deliberately. He concentrated on his movements; he wanted to feel every part of Kili under him and around him; and he wanted Kili to feel every part of him. As he leaned down to kiss Kili again, he realised, he wanted to _make love_ to Kili.  


The realisation hit him like a sledgehammer to the chest. He stopped for a second, catching his breath.  


“Fili, are you ok?” asked Kili, trying to twist around on the bed.  


“I’m fine. I’m ok.” He started moving again.  


“Are _you_ ok, Kili? Is this what you want?”  


“Are you fucking kidding me?”  


“No... I mean... _like this?_ Is it... am I being too slow for you?”  


Kili was silent for a moment. He turned away. “No” he said, almost inaudibly. “No, this is what I want. You are... what I want. I... I... I think I’m in love with you, Fili.”  


Fili’s heart was thumping so loud he thought it would burst through his chest.  


For a second they were both still. Then Fili reached forward and turned Kili’s face towards him. Their eyes locked.  


“Well, that makes two of us” he whispered.  


The look on Kili’s face made Fili’s heart want to sing. He shifted his hips, pushing deep into Kili’s core, and burying his face in Kili’s dark hair.  


“I fucking love you, Kili” he said, louder, “so fucking much.”  


As they moved together, Fili felt like years of self-doubt, of feeling lost and alone were melting away. He’d thought Bilbo had made him feel safe, but Bilbo couldn’t hold a torch to Kili. Kili made him feel _whole._  


Kili shivered at Fili’s words. His whole body felt alive; like he was bursting out of his skin with excitement. He moaned softy as Fili slid deeper inside him, filling him up perfectly; like their bodies had been made for one another. They moved together as one, and for a fleeting moment, Kili wondered if he was still asleep and dreaming.  


When their release finally came, it was like a force of nature; untameable, unstoppable, pulling them over together.  


Long minutes passed, and they lay still, limbs tangled around each other. Fili had shifted slightly, his body rolling to the side so that he was curled around Kili, his face pressed into the curve of Kili’s neck.  


“I think I could stay like this forever” he murmured.  


The rumble of Kili’s stomach pulled him out of his reverie.  


“You want some breakfast?” he asked with a little chuckle.  


“Sorry” said Kili. “But yeah, that would be great, actually.”

***

“We missed you guys in the dojo last night” said Bofur as Fili and Kili walked in to the kitchen.  


Fili blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck.  


“Uh, yeah... sorry about that. We were kinda...”  


“...busy” finished Kili with a wicked grin.  


Bofur waggled his eyebrows and laughed.  


“I know, I could hear you through the walls.”  


Even Kili had the decency to blush then.  


“You want some toast, Kili?” asked Fili quickly, trying to avoid Bofur’s eyes.  


“Sure” said Kili, grabbling a stool and sitting down at the table in the centre of the room.  


Fili grabbed two slices of bread and dropped them into the toaster.  


“What do you want on your toast? We have jam, marmalade, peanut butter, Nutella, whatever you want.”  


“Oooh, peanut butter would be great.”  


Fili nodded and pulled a jar from a shelf.  


“I’m making coffee” said Bofur, still grinning. “You guys want some?”  


“That would be awesome” said Fili. “Kili, you have to try some of Bofur’s coffee – it’s the real deal, he grinds the beans up fresh and everything thing.”  


“Uh... ok, yeah, I’ll have a cup.”  


Kili watched with mild amusement as Bofur and Fili fussed about in the kitchen, invariably getting in each other’s way. Eventually Fili handed Kili a plate of peanut butter toast and a steaming cup of coffee as he sat down at the table.  


“Aren’t you having breakfast?” asked Kili noticing Fili didn’t have anything to eat.  


“I’m ok”.  


“Don’t be silly. Here – have some toast.” He held up one of the slices from his plate.  


Fili took the slice.  


“Thanks.”  


Bofur sat down at the table next to Fili.  


“So I hear you’re moving out of your place” he said nodding at Kili.  


“How did you know?”  


“Dwalin told me.”  


“Yeah, well, he and Nori kicked me out. Bastards.”  


Bofur shrugged. “He seemed pretty upset to me.”  


“I sincerely doubt it.”  


“So, do you need a hand moving? Cos you can use my van if you like” went on Bofur.  


“What van?” asked Kili, puzzled.  


“ _What van?_ Good grief, were you so drunk last night that you didn’t even notice Bessie?”  


“Bessie is Bofur’s van” whispered Fili. “She’s an old VW camper van. She’s parked up outside.”  


“Oh, _Bessie”_ said Kili, winking at Fili, “Of course. She’s a beautiful van. That would be great, thanks for the offer, mate.”  


“No worries. I like to help where I can. Just give me a shout when you’re ready and I’ll pop over with Bessie and we can get you moved in a jiffy.”  


Suddenly Fili’s pocket vibrated. He fished out his phone. “There’s a new message” he said softly. “Do you think it’s the Family Finding people?”  


“Only one way to find out” said Kili.  


Fili nodded, then frowned as he stared at the screen of his phone.  


“What’s the matter?” asked Kili.  


“It’s Billy” sighed Fili. “He wants to meet me, wants to talk to me about something.”  


“So, tell him to fuck off” said Kili, with a mouthful of toast.  


“I can’t do that” said Fili, shocked.  


“You’re not seriously thinking about meeting him are you? He had his chance, you’re with me now.”  


“I kind of feel like I at least owe it to him to hear what he has to say.”  


Kili shook his head.  


“Un-fucking believable!”  


“Kili, don’t be like that. C’mon, he just wants to talk to me. It’s not like I’m never gonna talk to him again.”  


Kili dropped his half-eaten toast onto his plate and stood up.  


“Thanks for the coffee Bofur. I’ll let you know when I’m in need of Bessie’s services.”  


Bofur nodded. “Okey dokey. Are you off then?”  


“Yeah” said Kili flashing Fili a dark look. “I get the feeling I’m in the way here.”  


“Kili...”  


“I’ll see myself out.”  


Fili let out a sigh as he watched Kili leave. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, then sighed again as he heard the front door first open, then click shut.  


“I’m just going to meet him for a coffee and a chat” he said looking at Bofur.  


Bofur shrugged.  


“I dunno. I can see Kili’s point of view, but then I can see yours as well. And who are the Family Finding people?”  


“What? Oh, it’s nothing, just something Kili helped me with. It might be a way for me to get in contact with my birth parents.”  


“Wow” said Bofur, looking surprised. “That’s pretty cool.”  


“Yeah, I hope so.”  


“So... are you going to meet Bilbo?”  


“It’s just coffee and a chat. What’s the harm in that?”

***

Kili paused as the door shut behind him, suddenly feeling rather foolish. He’d acted like a spoilt brat, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to Fili and apologise. The only trouble was the door. He didn’t have a key, so they only way back in was to knock and have someone let him in. For some reason the thought of that was too much for his pride, and so with a rueful sigh, he kicked at a lose stone on the pavement and headed back to his own house.  


When Kili reached home, he opened the front door as quietly as he could and hurried up stairs. He opened the door to his room, then his draw dropped.  


All over the floor were empty cardboard boxes, and there was a roll of brown tape on top of one of them.  


“What the fuck is this!?”  


A few seconds later Ori poked his head around the door.  


“You’re home then” he said.  


“Do you know anything about this?” asked Kili furiously.  


“It was Nori. He thought it might... uh... encourage you to move out sooner rather than later.”  


“He’s a fucking dick.”  


“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you should leave. I told Nori, but he said I was out-voted.”  


“Thanks, Ori. And for it’s worth, I’m sorry if my actions upset you in any way. I consider you a friend, and I would never intentionally hurt you. I... I honestly didn’t know how you felt... about me.”  


“It’s ok. I know you didn’t. But I don’t understand why Dwalin is siding with Nori – I thought he was one of your best friends.”  


Kili shrugged. “So did I.” He looked around the room. “Oh well, I suppose I should get packing.”  


“I’ll help you if you like” said Ori.  


“Thanks, Ori. That would be great.”

***

  


Bilbo nervously adjusted his waistcoat. He felt rather over-dressed, but he knew the deep red coloured garment was one of Fili’s favourites. He pushed open the door to the coffee shop and stepped inside. Scanning the room, he saw a girl and a boy, most likely a couple, talking to each other on a comfy sofa in the corner, and a girl with long red hair reading a book at one of the tables in the centre of the shop. He ordered a latte and then sat down at a table at the back of the shop, with a clear view of the door.  


Fili was late, as usual, but Bilbo simply smiled when the blond came through the door and made a bee-line for him.  


“Don’t you want a coffee?” asked Bilbo as Fili sat down opposite him.  


“I’m good, thanks” replied Fili, smiling. “So what is it you wanted to talk to me about, Billy?”  


Bilbo took a deep breath to calm himself. He had rehearsed a dozen times what he was going to say, but now, seeing Fili in front of him, his mouth went dry, and his mind went blank. Just one smile from Fili left him weak at the knees; he both hated and loved the effect Fili had on him.  


“I... I uh, I’m sorry” he said weakly.  


Fili frowned. “ _You’re_ sorry? But I’m the one who cheated on you.”  


“Yes, but... I over-reacted. I should’ve given you a chance to explain yourself. I should’ve given you another chance. I want to give you another chance. Please, Fili... we’re good together, we can work this out, this doesn’t have to be the end of us. Let’s try again... please?”  


Fili shook his head. “I’m sorry, Billy, but I’m with Kili now.”  


“Oh... so... soon” Bilbo's face fell.  


“Yes” said Fili. “I’m sorry.”  


Bilbo bit his lip. “I don’t care!” he blurted out. “You can break it off with him, you can only have been together a day or so. We’ve been together more than a year – that counts for something, doesn’t it?”  


Fili pressed his fingers to his temples. “I don’t know what to say to you Billy. I’m with Kili, and I’m not going to break it off with him, I really am sorry that I’ve hurt you; you deserve better than me.”  


Bilbo felt a wave of nausea rising up. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Fili was supposed to be grateful for the second chance. They were supposed to get back together. He swallowed hard.  


“I see. Well... then I want you to know, I’m here for you. If you change your mind, or if there’s some reason why Kili isn’t enough for you, I’ll be here. Even if you stay with Kili, you are still welcome in my bed.”  


Fili looked shocked. “Billy! No! That’s not right!”  


Bilbo set his jaw. “I know you think I’m prim and proper, but I don’t care. I cannot bear the thought that I will never get to kiss you or fuck you again. So there you have it. I am stubborn – I won’t give you up without a fight.”  


Fili’s eyes widened. He had never seen Bilbo like this. “I think I should go” he said, struggling to get out of his chair.  


“Wait!” shouted Bilbo. He shot up and raced around the table, hands grabbing at Fili’s shirt. “I don’t want you to go like this!” He stood on tiptoe and pressed his lips against Fili’s.  


Fili froze. He felt Bilbo’s soft hands cupping his cheek, pulling him in to the kiss. For a second he returned the kiss, then he pulled away.  


“I-I h-have to g-go” he stammered. He turned and tried to run to the door, but instead he tripped and fell into a table where a girl with long red hair was sitting.  


“Must’ve been a good kiss” said the girl looking down at Fili.  


Fili blushed furiously. Then mumbled an apology and fled.

***

“There we are, that’s the last one” declared Kili, sealing a box with brown tape. He looked around his room. All his clothes had been stuffed into the giant bags he used for his laundry, and everything else he owned was packed away in cardboard boxes. He’d had an awkward moment when Ori had started packing away the contents of the little bedside cabinet. The poor man had blushed furiously and Kili had quickly ushered him away. But otherwise, he’d quite enjoyed having Ori help him.  


“I’m really gonna miss you, Ori. I mean that.”  


“But we’ll still see each other at lectures and seminars, and we can still go for coffee sometimes, can’t we?” said Ori anxiously.  


Kili shrugged, I don’t think Nori would approve, but I suppose not even he can stop us from seeing each other at lectures and stuff.”  


Ori frowned. “Nori is not my keeper. He’s got not right to tell me who I can and can’t see.”  


“Maybe not, but I don’t particularly want him to break my face.”  


“He said that to you?”  


“Yes. And I believe him. He takes family seriously. That’s the whole reason why he moved here, so he could keep an eye on you.”  


A look of pure rage spread across Ori’s face. “ _I knew it!_ ” he spat. “I knew he was just here to check up on me. He thinks he can waltz in here and it’ll be just like home. But it’s not. I was doing just fine without him, better even. He thinks that because he was ok with me coming out that he’s somehow better than our parents, but he’s wrong – he’s just as smothering, just as interfering. Well, that’s it. I’m moving out too!”  


Kili looked shocked. He’d never seen Ori so agitated. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”  


“Yes” snapped Ori. “It’s the best fucking idea I’ve had. Nori can go fuck himself if he thinks he can run my life.”  


“So... where will you go?”  


“I dunno. But you found a place pretty quickly, I don’t see why it should take me very long. I’m quiet, happy to do my fair share of chores, always pay my rent on time – I’m the perfect housemate.”  


Kili nodded. “Good for you. I’d be happy to give you a recommendation if that would help.”  


“Thanks, Kili.”  


“No worries.”  


Ori grinned. “So, have you got time for a beer before Bofur gets here with his van?”  


“Yeah, I reckon so.”  


“You know, I’m happy to help you unload at the other end.”  


“It’s ok, I’ve got Bofur and Fili helping me. You’ve done more than enough already.”  


“Ok” said Ori. “I’ll go and grab us a couple of bottles.”  


The two of them had barely started drinking when there was a knock on the front door.  


“Hey Bofur, you’re early” said Kili, opening the door.  


“Oh, sorry, should we come back later?”  


“No, no” said Kili “it’s fine. I’ve finished packing, so we can load up straightaway.”  


“You got packed up quick” said Fili, stepping into the house. “I thought we were supposed to be helping you.”  


“Ori helped me” explained Kili.  


A look of irritation passed over Fili’s face. “I thought you were banned from seeing him.”  


“To be honest, I don’t think Nori will care – especially if it means I leave earlier.”  


“Hi Fili” said Ori, coming up to stand behind Kili.  


Fili merely nodded in Ori’s direction.  


“Right!” said Bofur, “we’d best get Bessie loaded up then.”  


Kili, Fili and Bofur had the boxes and bags in the van in no time.  


“Well, I guess this is it then” said Ori, standing in the front doorway looking at the van full of Kili’s things.  


“Like you said – we’ll still see each other around” said Kili. He wrapped his arms around Ori and gave him a big hug. “Maybe I can come see your new place once you get it sorted.”  


“Yes! That would be lovely!” said Ori happily. “See you, then.”  


Kili waved, then jumped into the back of the van where Fili was waiting. Bofur slid the door shut, climbed into the cab, started the engine and pulled away.  


“What’s that about you going to see Ori’s new place?” asked Fili suspiciously.  


Kili laughed. “He’s almost as pissed off with his brother as I am. He says he’s fed up with Nori interfering in his life, so he’s going to move out too.”  


“I see” said Fili.  


“You don’t need to be jealous. I like Ori, but I really don’t fancy him.”  


“If you say so.”  


“I do say so.” Kili leaned over and kissed Fili. “See? You have nothing to worry about.”  


Fili shrugged.  


Kili poked Fili in the stomach. “Stop being so silly.”  


“Get off!”  


“Never!” cried Kili, launching himself at Fili and pinning him to the seat. “You are the hottest, sexiest, most incredibly awesome guy I have ever met.” He leaned down and kissed Fili, softly at first, his tongue briefly sliding over Fili’s lip ring before deepening the kiss.  


Fili groaned in response, his arms coming up to circle around Kili’s neck.  


“Still want me to get off?” whispered Kili.  


“Maybe _I_ could get you off” replied Fili seductively. He pulled Kili back down for another kiss, shifting his hips so that their cocks were pressed up against each other through their layers of clothing.  


Kili rocked himself against Fili, shivering at the friction. “Sounds like an excellent idea.”  


Fili ran his tongue along the edge of Kili’s jaw. “You’re stubble is growing back” he said approvingly. Then he lingered over Kili’s pulse point for a second before sucking a hard bruise into the skin.  


Kili moaned in response, turning and exposing his neck for Fili to make a deeper mark.  


“Now everyone will know you’re mine” murmured Fili.  


Suddenly the van stopped.  


“We’re here guys!” announced Bofur. He quickly hopped out of the cab and opened the side door to the van.  


“Seriously, guys! Can you not fuck each other in Bessie?”  


“We weren’t fucking!” protested Kili.  


“Not yet, anyways” added Fili.  


Bofur rolled his eyes. “Come on, put your dicks away and get these boxes out.”  


Kili sat up grinning. He adjusted the bulge in his jeans and peeled himself off of Fili. “I’ll just let Leo know we’re here. I don’t have a key yet.” He climbed out of the van and went up to the door.  


Fili grabbed the nearest box and followed Kili.  


“Oh, it’s you, Broadbeam” said Leo answering the door.  


“It is still ok for me to move in?” asked Kili.  


“Yes, of course. Elrond’s room is first on the right, just there” said Leo pointing to a door along the hallway.  


“Thanks!” said Kili, and squeezed past Leo to get to the room, with Fili following closely behind.

***

They had just dumped the last box in Kili’s room, when a girl with long red hair came down the stairs.  


“I see you’re all moved in then, Kili. I hope this means we’ll see some actual commitment to the team from you.”  


“Hi Tauriel, and yes you will.”  


“And who’s this?” she said, looking Fili up and down.  


“This is my boyfriend, Fili.”  


“Really? How interesting. I guess that must’ve been some kiss” said Tauriel.  


Fili stopped in his tracks; it was the girl from the coffee shop.  


“What kiss?” asked Kili puzzled.  


“The one on your neck” explained Tauriel, eyeing the purple bruise blossoming on Kili’s pale skin. Then she looked directly at Fili. “Why? Was there another one?” Her voice was sickly sweet.  


Fili started to panic. “Um... I’m sorry? Have we met before?”  


Tauriel cocked her head to one side. “I don’t believe we’ve ever been introduced, if that’s what you mean.”  


Suddenly Fili’s phone went off. He quickly grabbed it, glad of the distraction, and pulled it out from his pocket. His face went white, and he almost fell against the doorway.  


“What’s the matter Fili?” asked Kili, his voice full of concern.  


“I just got an email. It’s from my dad. He... he wants to meet me.”

**TBC...**


End file.
